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<- whoa!
no users online right now.
the haul
the haulDamnit.
don't know what the hell is going on? neither do we! here's an illustrated explanation.
Hey, allright! So you're still here after we ran out of advertising funds? Awesome! How about you use the contact us button above (its the envelope between the RSS flag and the ?!) and tell us what you liked and what you didn't like. Seriously, we need to know. If this didnt convince you to mail us and you feel that some threats and insults will flex your stance, read the paragraph below.
you there, the basement-dwelling momma's boy. we want to hear from you. what do you think about our shit storm of a site? what about it sucks ass? what do you dig? we're hear to listen. we're here to care. we're also here to make fun of you publicly if you send us hate mail. but whatever you do, do it hard.
Hey, allright! So you're still here after we ran out of advertising funds? Awesome! How about you use the contact us button above (its the envelope between the RSS flag and the ?!) and tell us what you liked and what you didn't like. Seriously, we need to know. If this didnt convince you to mail us and you feel that some threats and insults will flex your stance, read the paragraph below.
you there, the basement-dwelling momma's boy. we want to hear from you. what do you think about our shit storm of a site? what about it sucks ass? what do you dig? we're hear to listen. we're here to care. we're also here to make fun of you publicly if you send us hate mail. but whatever you do, do it hard.
it's stuck!
"NINTENDO FRIENDY-CODE LIST"
7:17:37 am, fri, apr 11th, 2008 pdt
chains worth a damn!
Dynamite Kingdom: Garages Full of Old Men
Dynamite Kingdom
The Spoony Playthrough - Phantom Brave Part 11 (Dialup users need not apply.)
Spoony's Phantom Brave Playthrough
Adventurer's Field Guide page 603 - Doppleganger Menace
The Adventurer's Field Guide
Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 5
VIEWTIFUL GONTERMAN
Youtube Gangbang 6/16/08 (Welcome Back Edition)
YouTube Gangbang
recent quick hits!
Military Madness (Turbografx-16)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
VC Quick Hit: Cocoto Fishing Master
Virtual Console Quick Hits
Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo HD (XBox Live Arcade)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
Alien Hominid HD (XBox Live Arcade)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
Dr. Mario: Online ℞ (Wiiware)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
recent rawks!
"NiGHTS: The Third Dreamer Final Page"
Spoony Spoonicus rawked!
6:20:19 am, thu, jul 3rd, 2008 pdt
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 5"
Spoony Spoonicus rawked!
6:19:09 am, thu, jul 3rd, 2008 pdt
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 4"
Sturm rawked!
6:17:36 am, thu, jul 3rd, 2008 pdt
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 5"
Megido rawked!
4:53:37 pm, tue, jul 1st, 2008 pdt
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 3"
Sturm rawked!
4:52:46 pm, tue, jul 1st, 2008 pdt
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 2"
Sturm rawked!
4:50:00 pm, tue, jul 1st, 2008 pdt
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 5"
Robin rawked!
4:46:58 pm, tue, jul 1st, 2008 pdt
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 5"
Batman rawked!
4:46:46 pm, tue, jul 1st, 2008 pdt
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 5"
Avatar rawked!
4:41:42 pm, tue, jul 1st, 2008 pdt
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 5"
Commander Ladd rawked!
4:12:16 pm, tue, jul 1st, 2008 pdt
recent bombs!
"Adventurer's Field Guide page 603 - Doppleganger Menace"
Vinic bombed 5 times!
8:36:43 pm, fri, jun 27th, 2008 pdt
"shittle 4868"
RedCappy bombed 5 times!
11:12:16 pm, mon, jun 16th, 2008 pdt
"shittle 25371"
Shyna El Mensajero bombed 5 times!
9:51:58 pm, mon, jun 16th, 2008 pdt
"shittle 25371"
RedCappy bombed 5 times!
9:45:16 pm, mon, jun 16th, 2008 pdt
"CLASH OF THE TITANS! II"
Aquas bombed 5 times!
8:30:39 pm, thu, jun 12th, 2008 pdt
that's it, douche!
"shittle 24466 & shittle 21409"red eye ->
<- 9:04:41 pm, sun, jun 29th, 2008 pdt <- update!.
heckles
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 5"
Davey-kins ->
<- 12:57:18 pm, sun, jun 29th, 2008 pdt <- update!.
""
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 5"Davey-kins ->
<- 12:57:18 pm, sun, jun 29th, 2008 pdt <- update!.""
heckles
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 4"
Davey-kins -> <- 12:56:30 pm, sun, jun 29th, 2008 pdt <- update!.
""
"Sonic: The Mobius Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 4"Davey-kins ->
<- 12:56:30 pm, sun, jun 29th, 2008 pdt <- update!.""
that's the latest of the bunch.
do you want some more crap?
here you go.
do you want some more crap?
here you go.
-> "Enjoy The Weather! (Nuclear)"10:46:21 am, wed, jul 2nd, 2008 pdt <- update!
"IN PROGRESS, ALSO, IT IS OKAY TO LOOK AT THIS ONE. ¶ (Doing a few FireFox test submissions on this one, I'll finish the real deal this weekend though.)"
-> "Top Ten Series' that have Jumped the Shark" -> reviews4:24:49 pm, mon, jun 30th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"I know first-hand that every series is bound to have a bad game here and there, either due to being rushed or just running into a dry period and rehashing ideas from old games, but a few series stick out in my mind that have taken the fall and never been the same since.Being a guy who likes writing top ten lists, I'll go ahead and give you my top ten most shark-jumping series' in recent memory. &p..."
-> "Military Madness (Turbografx-16)" -> random insanity10:54:26 am, mon, jun 30th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"You can pretty much think of Military Madness as a lost branch of Nintendo's "Wars" series, except with a hex grid rather than a square one, and the fact that you can't build new units (but you can capture factories to repair your existing ones). There are a few new mechanics, though, such as granting bonuses depending on the number of units surrounding your attacking unit and your units becoming..."
-> "Toki Tori (Wiiware)" -> reviews12:01:06 pm, sat, jun 28th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"A fun little puzzle game, combining elements of Lemmings and Solomon's Key. The goal is to collect all the eggs on each stage without getting trapped or killed by the enemies. For some stages you'll also get items like bridges to span small gaps or the ability to teleport short distances. While quite possibly being the largest downloadable game on the VC at an enormous 289 blocks, this is worth..."
-> "Adventurer's Field Guide page 603 - Doppleganger Menace" -> random insanity7:31:15 pm, fri, jun 27th, 2008 pdt
"Are you currently staring at an exact duplicate of yourself? Run. Run away. Read this page, then go back. ¶ A common Doppleganger is what you are dealing with. Their bodies change shape, their minds sharpen, and their clothes morph around until eventually they look and think exactly like you. This is a major problem for most magic type adventurers because they know every spell that you do. Fo..."
-> "Unsung Classics: Playstation 1" -> reviews11:07:21 am, mon, jun 23rd, 2008 pdt <- update!
"Yeah, I'm probably going to do one of these for every platform I own. ¶ Bust a Groove - This one had the unfortunate timing of being released before rhythm games really caught on.A pity, as they not only have some catchy tunes, it's got a unique twist on the gameplay as well.The twist is that it's also something of a fighting game - as you pull off comboes a power gauge builds up, and once it..."
-> "Youtube Gangbang 6/23/08" -> random insanity3:49:29 am, mon, jun 23rd, 2008 pdt
"VIDEO RELAY ACTIVATED... ¶ DEFAULT VIDEO LOADED: ¶ YES."
-> "Adventurer's Field Guide pg. 34 ~ Basic Living" -> random insanity3:02:16 am, mon, jun 23rd, 2008 pdt <- update!
"Dear adventurer, let us rest and examine this cool world. Have a mug and polish your favorite blade, for the world is dark for a dirty blade to shine. ¶ Go for a walk. Go to the forest at the edge of town, go deeper into the wood than you usually go and take with ease the resplendant amount of trees. Take the warm essence of the wood and bring it in through your lungs, concentrating on you..."
-> "Nami's Dark Little Secret, Chapter 1" -> heckles1:32:48 pm, sun, jun 22nd, 2008 pdt <- update!
"Alright, since this is a text-based story, we're going to go about MSTing it slightly differently. Since having all the comments and paragraphs tacked on the end would be really awkward, let's do it this way: send me via private message (IRC query, AIM, brick through the window*, etc) the relevant sentence/paragraph and your heckle and i'll post it in the story. It's probably not the most effici..."
-> "Valkyrie Profile in a Nutshell" -> random insanity11:24:24 pm, wed, jun 18th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"This time featuring a game you probably weren't tricked into playing on name recognition! ¶ Platina: Life is wonderful even though my mother is a terrible bitch, la la la Lucian: Hey Platina, you've been sold into slavery, let's run! Platina: Oh shit we wandered into the field of poison flowers and we're both dying horribly. Lucian: Sucks to be us. ¶ Time passes ¶ Arngrim: I'm so..."
-> "Final Fantasy X in a Nutshell" -> random insanity11:05:03 pm, wed, jun 18th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"Take seriously at your own peril. ¶ Tidus: Hi I'm the hero, I'm also a star player in this really boring sport! ¶ Godzilla Sin shows up and starts wreaking havoc on Tokyo Zanarkand ¶ Tidus: What a shocking and unexpected turn of events! Auron: Here have a sword, let's kill a few guys ¶ They do just that, eventually Auron gets bored of it and tosses Tidus into the ocean ¶..."
-> "Final Fantasy VIII in a nutshell" -> random insanity10:54:09 pm, wed, jun 18th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"Not to be taken seriously. OR IS IT? ¶ Squall: Hi, I'm the protagonist, even though I'm a completely unlikable asshole who hates everyone. Also my weapon of choice is probably the stupidest thing ever put into a video game Seifer: I'm an asshole too, let's fight for no reason! ¶ They do so and end up with scars. A few pointless cinemas play to the tune of elevator music and they get..."
-> "Youtube Gangbang 6/16/08 (Welcome Back Edition)" -> random insanity4:25:09 pm, mon, jun 16th, 2008 pdt
"VIDEO RELAY ACTIVATED... ¶ DEFAULT VIDEO LOADED: ¶ VIKING ROBOT HAS RETURNED FROM CUCAMUNDA VACATION. VIKING ROBOT HAS BROUGHT SOUVENIERS."
-> "Alien Hominid HD (XBox Live Arcade)" -> reviews2:32:44 pm, mon, jun 16th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"A game that a lot of people know about but few seem to have actually played, Alien Hominid is pretty much a Metal Slug clone with a few new abilities for your character - namely an aerial dodge, the ability to burrow under the ground to avoid attacks (and kill enemies) and, perhaps most amusing, the ability to jump on an enemy's shoulders and bite their head off (which causes all other soldiers in..."
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no portion of any content residing on lardpirates.com may be reprinted in any form without prior written consent -- this is serious business, the internet.
best viewed at a resolution at least 900 pixels wide, in any browser other than internet explorer for the love of god. try firefox! opera, even!
this website is much more badass with javascript enabled. if you cannot use javascript, then you need to hop in the delorian and get the hell out of 1995.
hosting provided by dreamhost. they are good people. i know, mysql is a bit slow, but whatever this ain't youtubespacebook, so get over it.
if you wish to bitch and moan at us, do so from our contact page.
all content copyright their respective authors/artists.
no portion of any content residing on lardpirates.com may be reprinted in any form without prior written consent -- this is serious business, the internet.
best viewed at a resolution at least 900 pixels wide, in any browser other than internet explorer for the love of god. try firefox! opera, even!
this website is much more badass with javascript enabled. if you cannot use javascript, then you need to hop in the delorian and get the hell out of 1995.
hosting provided by dreamhost. they are good people. i know, mysql is a bit slow, but whatever this ain't youtubespacebook, so get over it.
if you wish to bitch and moan at us, do so from our contact page.
a cherry
downpour
downpour