- Chuck the Plant
It has come to our attention that many unfortunate souls have stumbled upon this story while searching for One Piece fan fiction (or One Piece hentai). All we can say is that we apologize for assaulting your eyes with this abomination.

As for those who came here searching for this specific story, all we can ask is "what the fuck is wrong with you"?

But, here at last, we've come upon the final chapter. Just as all good things must come to an end, so too must all things that transcend time, space and genre in their quest for unbridled shittiness.



The Shit Piece experience in a nutshell.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Here it is, the final chapter. And holy shit is it long. But stick with it valiant Lardpirates, the finish line is in sight!

No, really. See, it's that blue banner across the sea of boiling shit there. Look!

- Avatar
I'm coming at this one straight and ugly.

- Miles Edgeworth
Alcohol fridge fully stocked.

- Commander Ladd
Hopped up on enough performance enhancers to tear a cow's head right off.

- Sturm
Repulsors primed and ready for action.

- Simon
It's the FINAL BATTLE!

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece.


Chapter 19: The Greatest Mystery of Them ALL

- Azul Rojo
How did this fanfic grow this big?

- Spoony Spoonicus
I can only blame a high dose of radiation. It never makes things smaller or nicer.

- clobberpuppy
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

- Spoony Spoonicus
69,105.

- Avatar
Just how long can SorceryGeniusLina make a fool of herself?

- Spoony Spoonicus
For that, I have no answer. Considering that the Internet will very likely outlive all of us, and given the huge number of web page archival sites and backup servers out there, the answer is potentially infinite.

Luffy wanted to be alone for a while. He didn’t know why or understand why Wrath let him just leave but he was glad for it. He couldn’t face her right now, well, either of the girls that had come into his life and had come to mean something to him...Vivi...but most of all Nami...


Nami...


What was Wrath really planning to do? And what would Nami’s role be? He had to do something to stop whatever it was that Wrath was planning to do.

- Megido
Superfluous sentences one and all.

If he hurt a single hair on Nami’s head that bastard would pay!

- Miles Edgeworth
Yes, we know. You repeat it every single chance you get, like a kid who just learned a new curse word.

Luffy thought to himself. But in all reality he was powerless to do anything about it. There was something about Wrath that made him untouchable to Luffy. What was it though?


Luffy was walking down a semi-deserted passage way when he heard the sound of approaching footsteps. Was he being pursued? Had his presence been missed? Luffy pressed himself up against the cold stone wall and held his breath. Maybe he should try and get to the others, and maybe together, they could all defeat Wrath and save Nami from Wrath’s evil clutches.

- Avatar
This whole chapter is reading like a list of overused sentences from pop-up books.

Luffy was almost positive Wrath had used some kind of brainwashing technique on Nami to make her act the way she was.


That couldn’t be the real Nami right?

- Azul Rojo
That's right! The real Nami isn't an emo wuss. None of the characters in here are the real ones; they're butchered clones.

Luffy’s mind was full of questions and somewhat distracted so he didn’t notice one of Wrath’s minions until he was right in front of him.


‘Damn!’ Luffy thought giving a bashful grin to the dark-robed guard.


But to Luffy’s surprise the guard seemed more nervous than he was. “I’m glad I found you...” He was saying suddenly. “The trap has been set for the vermin just as you requested. It will only be a matter of time before the pests are eliminated.”


“Trap?” Luffy questioned aloud in confusion.


“The trap for the intruders...the Straw Hat Pirates.” The guard explained, beads of sweat were forming on his brow.


Luffy’s eyes widened. A trap had been set for his nakama?! “Explain yourself, why has a trap been set for my friends?!” Luffy ejaculated grabbing the guard’s shirt front and pulling him up to him so that they were nose to nose.

- Alys Brangwin
Ugh, that was the WORST word you could have possibly chosen.

- Azul Rojo
What? There's going to be some yaoi lemons now? Oh, nevermind. Just terrible wording, again.

“Uh...well...you see.” The guard stuttered as he trembled in fear. “It’s what you wanted isn’t it?! You said you wanted them dead! My lord we were only following your orders I’m afraid...we can’t stop it!”


Luffy’s eyes narrowed as he tried to make sense of what he had just heard. And then he realized the guard had just called him ‘My lord.’ “What did you just call me?” Luffy’s voice was shaking.


“I don’t understand what you mean, My Lord.” The guard continued to tremble.


“I mean that ‘My Lord’. Why do you call me that?!” Luffy shook the guard.


“My Lord Wrath-” The guard was startled as Luffy suddenly let go of his shirt. The guard took this opportunity to slump to the floor.


Luffy’s mind was spinning. Wrath...why had this guard just called him Wrath?! Why?

- Commander Ladd
Like it's not painfully obvious by now.

He couldn’t understand it and yet in the depths of his subconscious Luffy knew he knew something...


“Argh!!!” Luffy grasped his head in pain. Something...was fighting within him. Something that didn’t want him to know the truth. “What’s wrong with me? Damn it you! I’m not Wrath so why the hell did you just call me that?!”


“Uh...but you are Captain Wrath, sir.” The guard said without a trace of doubt in his voice.


“And what would make you say that?” Luffy demanded.


“It was you...who gave me the order personally sir, to set the trap and dispose of the Straw Hat Pirates.” The guard explained.


“I gave? Impossible! I’ve never even seen you before...if this is your idea of some sort of sick joke...dammit Wrath! This must be his doing. He’s trying to set me up to take the blame for the destruction of the world!”

- Alys Brangwin
Who's going to be left to blame you if that's the case?

Luffy grasped the front of the shirt of the guard again and brought him roughly to his feet. “Where are my friends.”

ooo


The stairs seemed to go down forever into the earth. It was obvious these stairs hadn’t been stepped on for years...a thin layer of slim covered each step making their decent precarious.

- Azul Rojo
Slim? Slim what? Slim Jim? Oh, did you mean SLIME?!

Shanks was leading the group a torch upraised in his hand, followed by Ace. Tashigi was next followed by Zoro. The others were coming down behind them. Tashigi’s glasses were fogging over it was so damp and humid in this underground stairway. She keep having to take her glasses off and wipe off the thin layer of fog that had formed on them.

- Azul Rojo
Keep? I think you meant KEPT. Nineteen chapters, and not one of them was proofread. I'm really sure of that now.

It was during her third time that as she looked down to see where her next step was she missed it...


“Ahh!” Tashigi squeaked as she fell forward. She closed her eyes preparing to find herself flying into Ace and then Shanks causing them to all go flying down the stairwell. But then she felt someone grasp her arm fiercely from behind. She was spun around and found herself being pulled into the arms of someone warm...


When Tashigi collected herself she found herself staring back up at Zoro’s expressionless face. “Zoro...”


“Don’t get the wrong idea...I was just looking out for the others.” Zoro explained as he released her. He had wanted to hold on to her a bit longer but was unnerved that he felt that way. He looked back at her face...that face that without her glasses so much resembled her...his Kuina. Zoro shook his head. Kuina was dead. But he couldn’t help but wonder...


A slight blush tinged Tashigi’s cheeks. “Of course” Tashigi agreed with a nod.

- Avatar
The most touching scene since that one in Star Wars where Anakin compares Padme to sand.

- SHITTLE
WHEN WILL PEOPLE REALIZE STAR WARS IS LAME AND WATCH SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T SUCK?

Melody looked at their exchange and her heart clenched. ‘So his heart already belongs to another...

- Spoony Spoonicus
Maybe, but it ain't her.

my love did we once look the way they did? Did we once have hope for a future together before...my sister came between us? I wonder what is to become of them?’


Finally they had made it to the bottom of the staircase and were now in a giant hallway.


“At the end of this hallway should be the entrance to the temple.” Raiden informed them.


“Right, let’s go then.” Shanks said with a nod. The Straw Hat pirates had just about made it half way through the long hall way when suddenly the ground beneath their feet began to tremble.


“What is it?” Chopper asked in a small voice.

- Azul Rojo
...BLOOD. Oh, wait. This isn't a Resident Evil shitfic.

- Miles Edgeworth
There was more than enough blood to go around in the earlier chapters.

“Is it an earthquake?” Tashigi breathed.


“Earthquake? Why now all of a sudden?” Zoro sounded frustrated at the prospect.


“It might not be what we think.” Ace murmured ominously. “I have a bad feeling about this.”


“Stay sharp, let’s continue,” Shanks ordered taking a step forward when suddenly a large chunk of the ceiling came crashing down.


“Look out!” Tashigi cried as she unsheathed her sword and prepared to cut the rock in two.

- Commander Ladd
Something which she's shown no evidence of being capable of.

“GET OUT OF THE WAY!” Came Zoro’s frantic voice as he pushed past Tashigi and stood underneath the falling chunk of ceiling. Unsheathing his three swords simultaneously he cried, “Demon Slash!” Steel met with rock and shards of rock were sent flying into the air.


Tashigi sighed in relief as she sheathed her sword. Although she was a little miffed that Zoro had stepped in and stopped her from using her own skills with the sword, she couldn’t help but wonder why he had done that...

- Miles Edgeworth
Regained his respect for women. Don't worry, it'll be gone again in a minute.


“We’re not home free yet.” Zoro said looking up at the ceiling. “Run.”


“What?” Tashigi asked in disbelief.


“Run! The whole ceiling is caving in!” Zoro said as he grabbed Tashigi’s hand and began to pull her forward along with him.


Melody’s eyes trailing behind them...

- clobberpuppy
"Dude, that's so gross! Haha! How do you do that?!"

The Straw Hat pirates all began to run as the ceiling began to collapse around them. They only had seconds to get to the end of the hallway and to the entrance to the Temple of Mother Nature before they would be killed, buried beneath a pile of rubble to never see the light of day again.


“It’s some sort of trap.” Ace said as he ran. “Just look the ceiling isn’t caving in, in a natural way. It’s coming down in large cubes. We’re supposed to be killed here.”


“Damn it!” Ussop cried. “I’m too young and beautiful to die.”

- Spoony Spoonicus
What the fuck? What is this, Alvin and the Chipmunks?

Suddenly the part of the ceiling in front of them began to come down in cubes too fast for them to run past in time. The cubes gathered until there was a wall in front of them.


“Dang, we can’t get through.” Zoro said looking at the wall.

- Dudley
Finally, someone has effectively described what its like to play Tetris against a Japanese dude. This whole scene. With falling blocks and you underneath them desperately trying to survive.

“Are we going to die?”

- Azul Rojo
Probably not. But I think some of my brain cells did.

Tashigi questioned softly. She looked back at Zoro and their eyes met. Through that look many unspoken agreements were made...they had a lot of talking to do if they made it through this alive.

- Spoony Spoonicus
I have a lot of partying to do if I survive this story.

ooo


“Kuuusssoooo!!!” Luffy cried as he sprinted down the hallway.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Oh for fuck's sake, just say "shit". You've done it dozens of times already.

He just had to get to his friends in time before...Luffy shook his head. No! He would not allow his friends to die. Especially if he was in fact responsible for...but that would be insane! Luffy wasn’t crazy...was he?!

- Sturm
No, not at all. Not even the slightest bit. You are a pillar of sanity.

Luffy shook his head and continued to run.


He could feel the ground trembling beneath his feet. Had it already started?! He turned and found himself in the main hallway that lead to the entrance of the Temple of Mother Nature. This was the hall they would have to use to get there, it was the only way. Luffy picked up his pace and made his way down the hall until he met with a dead end.

- Commander Ladd
So much for that train of logic.


“What the?” Luffy said as he looked at the wall before him in a stupor. “This wall isn’t supposed to be here...”


“AHHHHHHHHH.” Suddenly the sound of screams could be heard.


Luffy’s eyes widened as he recognized those voices - his nakama were in trouble! And they were just on the other side of this wall. They must have been trapped on the other side on purpose. Somehow he had to get through to them.


“Gomu Gomu no Gatling gun!!!” Luffy cried as he unleashed a series of punches at the stone wall in front of him. As his punches hit the thick stone wall little damage was made, only small round indents. “Kussooo! I need to get through to them no matter what! Gomu Gomu no Gatling Gun!” Luffy unleashed his series of punches again and again. Soon the stone wall was clipping away bit by bit...as his fists were becoming bloodied by the effort to break through the grossly thick stone barricade.

- Commander Ladd
Never mind that he can blast through 50 feet of bedrock with one furious punch.

- Spoony Spoonicus
And if Zoro can carve an entire building into neat slices and cleave through something as durable as Mihawk's sword any time he wants, a stone barrier should be no problem.

Zoro has his arms wrapped around Tashigi as he tried to shield her body from the pieces of stone that were falling around them.

- clobberpuppy
Don't move... the blocks can't see us if we don't move!

The others were running around in a panic trying to avoid the randomly falling pieces.

- Avatar
"Hey asshole, how about helping us get this damn barrier out of the way? We're too weak and/or stupid to do it ourselves."

“You know...up until ten years ago I’ve had amnesia...” Tashigi suddenly found herself confiding to Zoro.

- Miles Edgeworth
That sentence is so malformed I can't tell if she HAS it or if she HAD it.

- Sturm
At least Tashigi's requisite mental problem isn't full-on retardation like the rest of the cast.

- Dudley
I shouted "FUCK YOU!" out loud at this line.

“I can’t remember my own childhood...my friends...who my family was...and for some reason I feel like I’ve been missing something very important...but when you’re near me it feels like I’ve gotten that part of myself back.”


Zoro’s eyes widened as he listened to what she was saying. Could there be even the remotest possibility that the woman he now held in his arms was in fact Kuina?

- Sturm
If I'm not mistaken, dear author just committed one of the big taboos of One Piece fandom.

The very same Kuina whom he had made his childhood promise on her grave that he would become the strongest swordsman in the world, carrying on her own dream through him. The very same Kuina whom he had had his first crush on. The very same Kuina who was his first love...

- Commander Ladd
Saw this one coming a hemisphere away.

- Spoony Spoonicus
What kind of ridiculous crap is this?

A) Kuina is dead and has been for eight years.
B) Tashigi only knew of Zoro through his reputation as a Pirate Hunter, and doesn't recognize him when they first meet.
C) Tashigi, while competent with a sword, is nowhere near Zoro's level (and is easily defeated during their brief scuffle). On the other hand, Zoro never ONCE defeated Kuina despite challenging her 2001 times.


Suddenly Zoro heard it. That sound...that familiar sound. Could it be!?

- Commander Ladd
It was. It was one of our brains blowing a fuse at the sheer stupidity of this fanfic!

“Luffy!” Zoro suddenly cried as he released Tashigi and spun around to face the stone wall. He placed a hand upon it and there he felt it - vibrations.

- Joseph Joestar
Good vibrations?

Someone was trying to get through the wall and he knew of only one person who was reckless enough to try something so stupid. “Luffy you bastard!” Zoro said fondly. “Tashigi stand back.”


“What are you going to do?” Tashigi asked in surprise.

- Avatar
Something you should have been doing this entire time?

“We’re going to get out the hell out of here that’s what.” Zoro smirked at her causing Tashigi to fidget nervously. Zoro turned his attention back to the wall. “Here goes nothing! Demon Slash!” Zoro’s three swords were out of their sheaths and flashing in the torchlight. As one of the swords gleamed Tashigi found she couldn’t take her eyes off of it...that sword that marvelous magnificent

- clobberpuppy
Mad Madam Mim!

- Spoony Spoonicus
Well, that's obscure.

sword....


ooo


Luffy fists as they connected with the stone wall could feel that on the other side something was also trying to make a dent in the wall. He smirked. He knew his nakama would catch on quick, after all they were always a lot quicker than he had ever been.


ooo


“Come on everyone we have to help him!” Shanks ordered. Shanks removed his own sword and began to hack away at the stone wall.

- Miles Edgeworth
Awfully nice of Wrath not to confiscate it while torturing you senseless.

Ace summoned his Fire Fire fruit powers and began hurling fireballs towards the places where Zoro’s and Shanks’ swords were aiming.


Soon the Straw Hat pirates were all joining in making the stone wall before them their common enemy that needed to be defeated. Summoning their own unique ,

- clobberpuppy
Their own unique blank!

using those powers together, as one, they fought together drawing upon each other’s strength.

- Spoony Spoonicus
By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!


Just as the wall in front of them began to give way the ceiling above them had begun to come down. They only had a matter of seconds before they lost their chance at survival. As Zoro, Luffy, and the others each sent their own attacks at the wall finally a small opening was made.


“Go! Go! Go!” Zoro cried as he waved everyone past him.


Everyone was quickly running past through the small opening until it was down to Zoro, Tashigi and Melody.


“Ladies first,” Zoro smirked.


Melody was just about to go through the opening when she looked behind her to see that Tashigi wasn’t moving. “What is it?” Melody questioned.


“My foot it’s stuck.”

- Sturm
Yet you said nothing about it until RIGHT NOW.

Tashigi explained as she began to yank at her leg, her foot had gotten lodged between two fallen chunks of ceiling.


“Melody go on ahead, I’ll stay behind and help Tashigi.” Zoro told Melody.

- Megido
Because this wasn't already made clear from the sentence.

- Dudley
Zoro is the last person I'd want to help me get my foot unstuck. His solution to the problem is "chop the foot off."

“But-“ Melody was cut off.


“Go!” Zoro ordered as he unsheathed Kuina’s sword

- Spoony Spoonicus
You can at least take the time to look up its name if you're going to reference it so often.

It's Wad? Ichimonji, by the way.

and ran towards Tashigi. The ceiling was already beginning to fall down right where they were.

Melody bit her lip and knew what she had to do.


“Demon Slash!” Zoro cried as his attack hit the stones around Tashigi’s foot and blasted them to bits. Zoro quickly grabbed Tashigi’s hand and was about to pull her along. “Let’s get out of here.” When he looked up. It was too late...the entire ceiling was coming down upon them and there was no way even with Zoro’s current skills that he could save them from the inevitable


“Song Song Wave!!!” Came the unexpected voice of Melody. She had her flute to her lips now and suddenly Zoro and Tashigi felt a rush of air when suddenly they were hit full force with a gale and sent flying through the small opening and to the other side.


Tashigi found herself on top of Zoro and blushed before quickly getting to her feet.

- Alys Brangwin
No immediate sex? At least someone in this story has some dignity.

- Miles Edgeworth
It's not going to last.

- Alys Brangwin
I know.

Her eyes then widened in shock, “Melody!!!” She cried as she looked back to the small opening, but all she saw were the pieces of rock coming down until the hole was blocked off once more. Tashigi turned her head and upon seeing Zoro flew into his arms and buried her face in his chest as tears streamed down her face.


Melody had sacrificed her life to save them...

- Spoony Spoonicus
Forgive me if this doesn't redeem her character for murdering her family, killing countless MORE people just to keep her beauty, trying AGAIN to murder the straw hats to undo her first killing, and then forcing that disgusting Usopp/Chopper scene into my nightmares for years to come.


“Why? Why would she do that?” Tashigi looked up at Zoro, tears glittering in her eyes.

- Azul Rojo
*COUGH COUGH* MARY SUE *COUGH*

Zoro looked down at her, his eyes filled with emotion, “I think it’s because she wanted us to be together...” And without saying another word he lowered his face to her until their lips touched in a soft kiss.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Hooray, more forced romance!

- Azul Rojo
See? Mary Sue match-making wins again.

- Dio Brando
She'd best not be coming back a THIRD time.

- Miles Edgeworth
Don't jinx it.

As they kissed they could have sworn they heard the song of a flute playing, it was a sad song but it was also beautiful and filled with hope.

- Dudley
It was nearly impossible, but Melody's flute managed to jam itself in her ass when she was crushed to death, and as her body expelled all its waste as bodies often do when they die, it played this song.

ooo


Nami casually made her way into an inner chamber where she approached none other than the wardrobe. It had been moved from the Going Merry and brought here. Nami opened the two blackwood doors to reveal the mirror. There staring back at her was her reflection...

- Megido
Is this happening now, or is it a flashback?

The Nami inside the mirror looked haggard and worn, her eyes were red and puffy. When she saw that her other self had returned though a spark of defiance filled her eyes. She then began to bang her hands against the invisible barrier that separated the Nami in the mirror world from the one that was now outside it.


“Let me out of here!” Nami demanded. “You tricked me! I...I just wanted to be free and you...you’ve trapped me here!

- Sturm
What the hell did you expect to happen? Jesus.

What do you plan to do anyways?”


A smile formed on the red-painted lips of Nami.

- clobberpuppy
As she honked her tiny horn and rode a tricycle through a flaming hoop.

- Phoenix Wright
At least she's not telling bad jokes.

- Franziska von Karma
This story IS a bad joke.

“What I intend to do...is take over the world with Captain Wrath at my side.”


Nami’s eyes widened in shock. “Take over the world? Wrath?! What about Luffy?”


“Ah, yes, Luffy, there’s no need to worry about him.” Nami said knowingly.

- clobberpuppy
It's like one of those cartoons where they meet a two-headed dragon or ogre or something who constantly argues with itself, only it's even less funny!

Nami stared back at herself in disbelief. She could not believe what was happening. Even now she didn’t fully understand it but...apparently a part of the mirror had been alive...barely but nevertheless alive. All it needed to become fully alive was a willing soul or at least part of one to give itself up unto the evil spirit of the mirror and become one with it.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Why does ANY of this surprise you?

Now the being before Nami was a part of herself, the darkest part, and the evil spirit of the mirror united as one.


“Why are you here?” Nami questioned back taking in the odd clothing her other self had chosen to wear. Nami would never have worn something so provocative, so revealing...would she? Is that what her inner self desired? To be some sort of exhibitionist slut?

- Sturm
Judging from all the sex you've had at three different murder scenes - at least one in front of several witnesses - I'll say yes.

- Azul Rojo
No. It's what the shitfic author wants you to be. *Puke noises*

- Spoony Spoonicus
There has been no reason for anyone in history to ever be this angsty. You've beaten every last fucking atom of this dead horse into dust, give it a rest already.

The red-painted lips’ smile turned deadly.

- clobberpuppy
The French Kiss of Death delivered the kiss of death! Ness was poisoned!

“I’m here to tie up lose ends. I’m afraid my dear you have to go.” Suddenly Nami removed a dagger from her cleavage and held it up in her right hand preparing to bring it down upon the glass of the mirror and shatter it.

- Miles Edgeworth
Even in Bizarro World, everything is stored in one's cleavage.

- clobberpuppy
You'd think she'd store it in her--



- Alys Brangwin
NO.

- Loudass Frat Boy
more like hell yea, boy!!

“No...” Nami murmured as she realized what was happening. “No...No!!!” Luffy...

- Spoony Spoonicus
I'm supposed to be sympathetic here? You completely brought this on yourself when you decided to bring the mirror with you despite it NEARLY KILLING YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE CREW.

I know I've repeated that line a lot, but damn, doing something that moronic just... blows my mind.

ooo


A chill went down Luffy’s spine. “You ok Luffy?” Shanks said patting Luffy on the back perhaps a little harder than would have been necessary.


“Uh...yea it’s just I thought I heard someone call my name. Strange.” Luffy scratched the back of his neck.


“You’re just imagining things.” Shanks smirked at him.


“Just look at your hands, dimwit.” Zoro smirked at Luffy. “You’ve gone and overdid it again.”

- Alys Brangwin
Try "overdone".

Luffy looked down bashfully at his bloodied hands. “Yea well...I couldn’t just let you guys die. You are my nakama.” Luffy raised his head and smiled back at everyone.


“Damn straight!” Ussop cried. “I never doubted for a single moment that we wouldn’t come through that! That the miracle of friendship would prevail over overwhelming odds, odds so great and terrible that only the Great Captain Ussop could have stood before such danger and not so much as tremble in fear!”

- Sturm
He watches way too many Disney movies.

- Commander Ladd
Hell, he does just about ANYTHING other than act like Usopp actually would.

“Riiiight.” Zoro smiled. “And what was with all that running and screaming seconds before ‘Zoro save me! Save me!’.”


Ussop turned bright red. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”


Luffy looked back at Shanks and the lacerations on his chest and back. Another chill went down Luffy’s spine as he thought about how Shanks had gotten those wounds. He had probably been tortured by Wrath...the whip had probably come down hard.


A cracking sound filling the air...the cat-o-nine flying through the air looking like black snakes until as it hit across Shanks’ pale skin, a trail of red was left in its wake...

- Franziska von Karma
The cat-o-nine is the mark of an amateur! A simple bullwhip is all a true master requires for pain!

“Luffy...Luffy!!” Zoro’s voice broke Luffy out of his daze.


“Huh? What...” Luffy shook his head. Just what were those images only seconds ago that had filled his mind? They had been so real so...filled with familiarity. What could that mean? The images...suddenly took up all of Luffy’s mind. They were becoming clearer now...the cracking sound, the feel of the leather in the palms of his hands, the smell of fresh blood...

- Commander Ladd
Got all this the first time.

- Sturm
HE'S GODDAMN WRATH. WE KNEW THIS THREE CHAPTERS AGO. YOUR WRITING IS ABOUT AS SUBTLE AS A TACTICAL NUCLEAR DEVICE.

“Ahhhhh!!!” Luffy screamed. And tried to will the visions to leave his mind. What the hell is wrong with me...what’s happening to me? Luffy looked back at the shocked expressions on his friends’ faces. He couldn’t face them right now. He couldn’t stay here...he could put them in danger. Somehow Luffy knew this. “I’m sorry, minna.” Luffy said before breaking off into a run and leaving his nakama behind.


ooo


Nami smiled as she made her way back into the main chamber where the black obelisk stood in the center looking like some sort of black diamond.

- Spoony Spoonicus
For one thing, it's not the same Nami, so she'd never have been here. For another, that description doesn't even make any sense.

- Azul Rojo
And this fanfic stood in my vision looking like some sort of rotten shit. Stupid, unnecessary descriptions.

She could feel the blood in her veins tingling with untapped power. She had definitely chosen the right victim to use as a host. Now she would hold the secret power of Atlantis in her hands and become the most powerful woman in the world!

- Megido
As if this story needs another hackneyed, last-minute villain.

Suddenly Luffy entered the chamber and before him he saw her - Nami. At first he felt relieved, he had felt somehow that she might have been in danger. But that feeling was quickly replaced with a dark jealousy as he watched Wrath walk up to her and wrap his arm around her bringing her close.


“The time is upon us, my dear,” Wrath turned his masked face down to look upon the woman in his arms. “Are you ready to make our dreams come true.”


“Yes, my love.” Nami replied. “Together we shall gain the power of ages and rule the world.”


“Now, my pet,” Wrath was saying as he led Nami towards the black obelisk. “Offer yourself up onto the power of Atlantis and become one with it, its medium. You shall be mine afterwards to control...to command.”

- clobberpuppy
"With an offer like that, how can I refuse?!"

- Alys Brangwin
I suppose we shouldn't be surprised, since she seems to enjoy being used and abused by every man she meets.

“As you wish.” Nami said as she was drawn by an unseen force towards the obelisk. There was a hum...a calling drawing her forth. The obelisk seemed to be vibrating with a song only she could hear. Nami walked forward closer to the obelisk until she placed a hand on its silky black surface and then her hand passed through it. She then slowly began to step inside the obelisk...


Luffy watched in horror as Nami disappeared inside the black, crystalline obelisk.

- Megido
It's an obelisk. We get it.

He had a bad feeling about all this but once again he felt powerless to do anything about it. “Nami! Nami no!!” Luffy cried. But it was as if his cry fell on deaf ears.


Wrath was laughing now...a haunting laugh that was echoing throughout the chamber.

- SOUND FX
(Soda Popinski laugh)

The black crystal began to glow with a shimmering blue aura. Suddenly the ground began to tremble as well as the entire temple.


“Soon! Soon this temple will rise! And then the power...the power will be revealed!!!!” Wrath was saying.


“The power...the power...the power...”

- ERROR
ERROR. INFINITE SHIT LOOP DETECTED.

INITIATED ESCAPE PROCEDURE.

ESCAPE PROCEDURE STATUS: FAILED.

Came a soft shaky voice.

Luffy turned to see that it was Vivi. She was huddled in a corner of the chamber her arms wrapped around herself as she rocked back and force.

- Azul Rojo
Back and force? How the hell did the author miss that? Or maybe she thinks that's what "back and forth" is?

Luffy was at her side in an instant. “Vivi...vivi speak to me.”


“The power it mustn’t be allowed to be awoken...the end is near...everyone will die...I...Ahhhhh!!! I can see it! I can feel it! Everyone’s pain and suffering!” Vivi cried as she shook her head from side to side, both of her hands on either side of her head.


“Vivi what’s wrong with you?!” Luffy demanded thoroughly shaken at seeing Vivi this way. Usually she was the cool, calm, and collected model of a true princess but now...

- Spoony Spoonicus
Say what? Vivi was always the first one to freak out when something went wrong.

“I’ve kept a secret from everyone...” Vivi was saying. “Ever since I was little I’ve had the curse. The curse to see things I shouldn’t be seeing. Things...that haven’t happened yet. In my country it’s a curse punishable by death and so until now I haven’t told anyone about it but I can no longer ignore its messages to me.

- Miles Edgeworth
Oh lord, now Vivi has the Shining.

- Master Shake
Let's go!

- Miles Edgeworth
Where are we going?

- Master Shake
To EXPLOIT HER!

It told me too, that I would never gain your love. It showed me that the woman whom you are destined for is Nami...but even so I wanted to come between that love...

“I’m so sorry Luffy. How can you ever forgive me? I knew of the strong bond the two of you shared and yet I tried to come between you and now...the future has changed and it could be because of what I’ve done. I’ve separated the two of you and now...the future...the future is dark.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Way to go, hoebag!

You must save her...in order to save everyone...Luffy it’s our only hope.”


“Save her...Nami needs saving?” Luffy questioned. “How can I save her Vivi? Tell me how?!”


Vivi looked back up at Luffy, “Do you love her?”


Luffy was taken aback by the question. “Uh...what do you mean?”


“Do you love Nami Luffy?” Vivi persisted.


“Well I...I’m still not very sure what love really even is...but I...when I see her I get this funny feeling in the pit of my belly, it’s a happy feeling. And when she smiles, I feel like I could take on the entire world! Her smile...is brighter than the sun to me and I would do anything to protect that smile.

- Spoony Spoonicus
God, here we are repeating this same damn sentence AGAIN.

- Mayor Mike Haggar
Is this hell? It sure feels like it. Same torture day in and day out...

- Miles Edgeworth
I'm breaking out the straight vodka if this keeps up.

Oh who am I kidding, it's going to get far worse than this. Bottoms up.

“But when Nami is sad I feel like I could just die. I feel sad when she’s sad and I don’t really understand why. I just want to see Nami happy, always. When she’s sad it’s like a cold, rainy day. I wish her smile would just come back and make the clouds go away with its shine. And then there’s how she smells...like sun kissed oranges, covered in dew drops. She smells...delicious. Kinda like meat but better.

- Azul Rojo
Wow. Luffy has become quite the poet.

- Dudley
Well, this explains all the post-murder scrogging.

“When I don’t see her around...I miss her. I want to be with her. Sometimes I think what it would be like if Nami decided to leave...and water starts coming out of my eyes. I feel lost. Nami...she’s like my guiding star. I don’t know what I would do without her at my side. I would do anything to keep her with me, to keep her happy.

- Spoony Spoonicus
My teeth are grating into a fine dust reading this crap time and again while he does absolutely nothing to save her.

I would die for her if I had to. Is that love Vivi?”


Vivi smiled. “Yes, Luffy, that is love. Now...tell her you love her Luffy before it’s too late.” A single tear trickled down Vivi’s cheek as she turned her head away from Luffy.


“Vivi...I...” Luffy was saying.


“Just go Luffy! Go!!” Vivi screamed.


Luffy took one last look at his friend before running off towards the black obelisk and Wrath.

- Sturm
Awfully nice of the author to give Vivi an important role considering how much she seems to hate everyone but Nami.

I'm being generous with that assumption, by the way.

ooo


Something was wrong...terribly wrong...

- clobberpuppy
"It just doesn't END!"

Nami sunk to her knees. It felt like the energy was being sucked out of her from somewhere. She looked back at the invisible barrier which separated her from reality and sighed. She was grateful she had escaped with her life...that had been a close one. Her other self was about to finish her off and destroy the mirror when suddenly she had turned and left.

- Sturm
"I'm one second away from getting rid of you for good, but now I have to go."

- Spoony Spoonicus
Looks like some of Nami's stupidity has rubbed off on Evil Nami.

A close call indeed. But now...she felt like she was dying anyways. What the hell was happening? She could feel her energy leaving her...her body becoming weaker and weaker. Was this the result of her other half awakening the power of Atlantis? If that was so then that meant she could feel what her other self was feeling...and if that were so that meant that one affected the other...

- Megido
Do you have any evidence to back this theory up or is this all wild conjecture?

And if that was true then maybe just maybe she had a chance. Nami looked around her in the barren space. It mimicked the room just outside the invisible barrier looking exactly the same as the chamber...every detail was the same...even the dagger on the floor. A dagger? Where had that come from. Her other self must have dropped it during her rush to leave.


Nami ran over and picked it up. She then took a deep breath and plunged the dagger into her arm.

- Mayor Mike Haggar
Not surprisingly, this scene also looks very familiar.

- Goth Dudley
When life gives you lemons, kill yourself.

ooo


Meanwhile...
- SOUND FX



The Nami inside of the obelisk let out a piercing scream. That bitch...what the hell does she think she’s doing?!


“Nami!!!” Luffy cried in distress upon hearing Nami’s scream.


Wrath too also appeared concerned as his mirthful laughter had stopped.


ooo


Nami gritted her teeth against the pain as she stabbed her arm again and again. She would not let herself be a slave...to herself. She would overcome this. This pain was nothing...compared to what the world would feel if Wrath really did succeed in his wrapped plan to take it over. The power of Atlantis...could only be a bad thing as far as she was concerned.

- Megido
The power of ellipses... is serving no real purpose except to annoy the hell out of our collective.

She just had to stop all this somehow.


Suddenly, Nami noticed the barrier of glass in front of her shimmer...it was as if there was no barrier between her and reality.

- The Guardian
In the author's twisted little world, suicide is ALWAYS the answer.

- Spoony Spoonicus
I'd ask how mutliating herself somehow let her return to reality, but after reading eighteen chapters of nonsensical, disgusting bullshit I really don't care anymore.

Nami smiled. This was her chance! She quickly ran through the barrier and back into reality. As she came through the mirror she was suddenly hit with

- Dudley
A sheet of glass, because she's an idiot.

the feeling of being lost in a large ocean. Her mind reeled and then it was over. But the feeling still remained...


Something was still wrong but what? Nami looked down at her hands and gasped. They were slightly transparent. Nami took a deep breath trying to get a hold of herself and just as suddenly her hands appeared to be normal again. What could this mean? If she was real again why would she disappear unless...she wasn’t real at all.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Great, now we've wandered into Final Fantasy X. Can you please, just once, get an idea from something that doesn't suck?

Her other self now possessed her body so that meant Nami was nothing more than a soul fragment.


And a soul cannot survive in the real world without a body forever. It would not be long before Nami would just fade away. Nami shivered with this realization. She had limited time to do what she had to do. She had to find her other half try and stop her and get her body back before it was too late.

- Miles Edgeworth
Once again, magically equipped with any knowledge necessary to advance the plot. Not that I'm complaining; the faster we get out of here the better.

ooo


The ground was breaking...the once buried Temple of Mother Nature was just as Wrath had said rising once again to see the light of day. The ground above broke away as the temple rose, an unseen force willing this to be.


The obelisk continued to glow with the mysterious power that Nami was unleashing.


In a matter of moments the temple was once again above ground. Through the temple’s glass domes the sky could be seen over head. But the temple itself was changing...changing as it became engulfed in a blue light. The temple was becoming bigger more complex and the area around the obelisk was also changing.

- clobberpuppy
Transformers, Robots in Disguise!

- Sturm
This one's name is Suck-Bus.

The obelisk was now on a raised pillar of rock

- Dudley
This is generally what an obelisk is. So it's an obelisk on an obelisk.

that was raising higher and higher into the air. Pieces of rocks shot out from the sides of the pillar looking like spikes, these two were glowing with the strange energy. Wrath had managed to stay next to the obelisk and so he to was being raised above the ground.


Luffy had not been so lucky and had been left behind.

He watched helplessly as Nami was taken farther and farther away from him.

- Dudley
Slingshot yourself up there, dumbass! Christ hell, when a character has a superpower, always keep in mind that he has a fucking superpower.

- Spoony Spoonicus
This story is the polar opposite of the Super Friends; while Superman can pull another power out of his ass any time the plot calls for it, Luffy mysterously LOSES his powers when they would actually be useful.

“Yes this is it! The power! The power!” Wrath was crying out as he began to stroke the surface of the obelisk. “You are doing so well my dear. Continue to awaken the power. Let it surround this place and you...become one with the power once again as you have been destined to be!”

- Megido
Uuuughhh.

- Happy Head Bash
"This guy's shtick is more one-note than ours!"
"You said it, cock-gobbler!"
*BONK*


- Dudley
Wrath finally got himself a Wii!

“I feel the power...”

- clobberpuppy
By the power of Grayskull!

Nami began to say. “But my own life energy is being sucked away into this crystal I fear...I fear I will be consumed by the power, my love.”


“You must be strong for both our sakes. You must fulfill your promise to me. Give me the power to take over the world. Together it will be ours!” Wrath told her soothingly.


“I will try,” Nami agreed as the temple continued to change. Soon the obelisk itself began to change and grow until it began to resemble something more like a dark sphere. It then began to rise from the pillar until it was hovering in midair above it. “I can feel it...the world around me...the rocks...the trees...the sea...I can feel it and...I can control it.”


“Yes! Yes you’ve done it! Now! First we shall test this power. My love, make the world shake! Make everyone tremble before our power!” Wrath commanded.

- Dudley
STOP! Re-read the last four paragraphs, but this time, use the voice of Dr. Weird for Wrath and Steve for Nami!

- Avatar
This guy is getting obnoxiously repetitive.

And coming from someone whose dialog consists mostly of "name" "job" and "bye", that's saying a lot.


“As you wish, my love.”

- Avatar
She's not much better either.

Nami agreed and began to concentrate her power. She envisioned the continents of the world shaking, the islands of the Grand Line trembling from an unseen force...and so it was.


“It’s too late!” Vivi cried out to the bewildered Luffy. “It has already begun. The power has been awaken...the earth is in pain. And soon...its people shall suffer...soon the power will go out of control and the world will be destroyed!”


“No...it can’t be.” Luffy murmured. “Nami would never do something like this...Nami...”


“Luffy.” Came a weak voice from behind him.


Luffy turned around and was thoroughly shocked to see Nami standing behind him. She looked pale and weak but more like the normal Nami he had come to know and love. “Nami?! What are you doing here...aren’t you inside that glowing black Mystery Sphere?”


Nami looked up at the top of the pillar where the black sphere was hovering, swirling with silver and blue energy. “I...am here...but I am also there. Oh, Luffy it’s hard to explain but you have to get me up to that sphere!” She stumbled forward in her weakened condition. “I...leave it to you Captain.” She echoed the words she had told him once before.


Luffy smiled back at her. “I don’t really understand what is going on here but leave it to me!” Luffy quickly hoisted Nami onto his back and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned her face against his back in breathed in his scent. Would this be the last time she was ever this close to him?


Luffy quickly made his way over to the pillar and grabbed onto two spikes, he then began to pull himself up. Up, and up and up. How far had the pillar grown, how far away was the black sphere anyways...a 100 meters at least. He grunted as he pulled himself and Nami up using the spikes above him and letting his feet find footings on those spikes that were below.


It was slow going with the added weight of Nami

- Azul Rojo
What? Souls have weight?

- Spoony Spoonicus
They're also made of atoms, if you follow Greek philosophy.

and the odd random placement of the spikes

- Dr. Orpheus
Atlanteans have impeccably poor taste in architecture!

but Luffy would never let such things stop him. Nami noticed that Luffy’s breath was coming in and out in short gasps. He was once again putting himself through hell for her. She vaguely remembered a similar time when using his bare hands and feet Luffy had scaled a mountain side to get Nami to the doctor’s in time.


And here he was again helping her to get to her fated destination. She would once again be lost without him. Her heart swelled with feelings for him. She loved him so much and yet...there was still so much between them...


She could feel her grasp around Luffy’s neck slipping. She was having one of her fits again.

- Miles Edgeworth
Fits of stupidity, or is this something else?

She could see her own hands coming in and out of visibility. She was disappearing again. No not yet...please not yet. I have to at least stop her...before I...


“Ahhhhh!!!” Nami cried as she lost her hold upon Luffy and began to fall backwards.


“Nami!” Luffy cried as he saw her falling. “No!” He cried and stretched his arm after her as she continued to fall through the air. He just had to reach her in time, he willed his arm to stretch faster, faster, faster. “Nami grab my hand!”


Nami looked up in surprise to see Luffy’s hand shooting towards her. She reached out her hand and their two hands came together. His hand closed around hers and he then began to pull her back up.

- Dudley
With his hand, which was holding her hand. One of their hands was made of rubber. Rubber hand.

Suddenly, her hand began to slip through his. She was disappearing again. And this time Luffy saw what was happening. “Nami your hands?!” He cried as he saw Nami’s hands were disappearing and reappearing.


“Luffy..I should have told you but, that other me she’s in possession of my body and if I don’t get it back...I will disappear from this world. Right now I’m just a soul fragment without a body.”


“Why didn’t you tell me?” Luffy asked in a strained voice. “I’m a bit confused but...it means if we don’t get up there in time I could lose you right?”


Nami didn’t answer but Luffy knew the truth by the look in her eyes. “Nami...come back to me Nami.”


“But I...” Nami was hesitating. She could feel herself disappearing from this world. Should she just let herself fade away? Why should she stay? “But I don’t want to be in the way.”

- Miles Edgeworth
Forcing angst into the story at EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Hey, remember how you're the only one that can stop this? Remember?

“You’ve never been in the way. Nami I need you...by my side. Come on Nami! Hang in there!” Luffy said as he continued to pull her up.


His words gave her strength in will and she tightened her hold upon Luffy’s hand. If he needed her she would go to him. Her hand solidified and Luffy pulled her up until she was at his side.


“Luffy I’m here for you if you need but I...don’t want to be in the way of you and Vivi-” Nami was cut off as Luffy fiercely pressed his lips up against hers for a mind blowing kiss.

- clobberpuppy
"Well shit, you just gave me an aneurysm. Bye!"

When he pulled away they were both out of breath.

- Avatar
Good to know that while the world's falling apart around them, they still have time for a make-out scene.

“I don’t want to lose you Nami, ever. Because I...love you.” Luffy told her looking deeply into her eyes.


Tears welled up in Nami’s eyes. It was all too good to be true. It couldn’t be real. “You don’t really mean that...how could you love me when you know of my past...after you found out you avoided me...you will never truly love me...because I’m-”


“Perfect. Just the way you are. You may be a bit money hungry, and selfish, and rely on others to protect you,

- Alys Brangwin
And a shameless slut...
- Sturm
And a hypocrite...
- The Guardian
And a murderer...
- Mayor Mike Haggar
And a total bitch...
- Miles Edgeworth
And a bleeding heart...
- Megido
And a complete idiot...
- Alan Smithee
and the worst kind of Mary Sue...
- Spoony Spoonicus
And absolutely nothing like the real Nami...

or even a total flirt but these are the things I love you about.

- Megido
Dyslexia ahoy.

The good and the bad. It makes you the woman I have fallen in love with.” Luffy interrupted her. “Nami I didn’t ignore you because I rejected you because of your past I distanced myself from you because I was afraid of hurting you. I’ve been having these strange visions lately Nami I don’t really get it but I could never let myself hurt you. I would rather die first.”


Nami’s eyes widened. “Luffy...about that, I think I should tell you-”


“Nami, it can wait.

- Avatar
Great, let's draw this out even more.

Right now I promise to get you to the top of this pillar as fast as humanly possible.” Luffy smirked.


“Right.” Nami smiled, nodded her head and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Let’s go Captain!”


Luffy hoisted her onto his back again and they continued their way to the top of the pillar this time at a much faster pace than before. Nami smiled to herself remembering the words she had just heard Luffy say to her, those three magical words she thought she’d never hear him say, ever. Somehow it had made it all, everything they had gone through, worth it in the end.


“We’re almost there, Nami.” Luffy grunted as he placed a hand on the edge of the ledge of the top of the pillar. He then began to drag himself and Nami up and onto the surface. Nami and Luffy stood now beneath the sphere which was hovering above them.


And there waiting for them was Wrath...

- Miles Edgeworth
Like a papercut that never heals, this guy always comes back to annoy you at the worst possible time.

“Well, well, well, I see you both have made it this far but it’s too late to stop it now. The power of Atlantis has already been awakened and is under my control. Soon the world will be in the palms of my hands! And I will not only be the Pirate King...but the World King!”

- Sturm
What kind of lame title is that?

“The power of Atlantis is under your control?” Nami questioned. “I think not. It’s under my control, or her control, or well, you get the picture.

- Spoony Spoonicus
THERE ARE TWO OF ME! THERE ARE TWO OF ME! THERE ARE TWO OF ME! THERE ARE TWO OF ME!

Give it a rest, it's not even that clever.

The real one in control here is not you.”


Nami looked up at the black sphere, which was swirling with colors of silver and blue looking like a chaotic sea that was trapped inside a crystal ball. “Inside of that chaotic sea is a part of me I have always rejected. I have always feared it would come back to haunt my present, and ruin my chance for a future. But I’ve been wrong all this time. I never had to fear that because instead I should have trusted in those that I cared about and that cared for me. I know now what I must do. Thanks to you Luffy.” Nami smiled back at Luffy before coming to stand under the black sphere.

- Phoenix Wright
Copied right from the script of an after school special.

- Miles Edgeworth
It's about time we got to the obligatory speech. Can we get this over with now?

- Spoony Spoonicus
So, uh, it's her whore side and she got rid of it? Then why is she still a masochistic snuff freak?

“Nami what are you going to do?” Luffy questioned. “I should go with you. I could protect you.”


“Luffy this is something I have to do on my own.” Nami said as she began to be lifted off the floor drawn by the unseen power of the sphere. “You’ve done enough already.”


“Not so fast little missy.”

- clobberpuppy
No cookies for you!

- Miles Edgeworth
"Little Missy"? What the fuck?

Wrath growled as he lunged forward and grabbed Nami’s foot as it was almost out of reach and stopping her ascent. “You’re not going anywhere and there is not way I’m letting you come between me and the power of Atlantis. The power of Atlantis is mine to control! To command!”

- Franziska von Karma
Even I don't speak in this many redundant synonyms! How foolishly foolish this fool of an author can be.

“Let her go!” Came Luffy’s voice. And for the first time Wrath acknowledged Luffy’s presence.


“Did I just hear something?” Wrath mocked. “Or was it the wind. It was so faint I could barely hear it.”

- Avatar
Is there some unwritten rule that he has to blurt out every cliché line he can think of at any given time once he's awarded the title of main villain?

- Shredder
It's enough to make me rethink by aspirations of overthrowing Krang!

“I said LET HER GO!” Luffy growled as he lunged at Wrath. Luffy was about to collide with Wrath when suddenly he passed right through him. Luffy was sent flying to the floor where he skidded, his face getting buried in the dirt. “What the hell?” Luffy exclaimed as he coughed on the dust.


Wrath merely laughed. “Foolish boy, even now you still do not understand you are powerless against me.”


Luffy got up and brushed the dirt form his clothes. “I don’t get it...are you a ghost?”


“In a sense yes, you could call me the Ghost of Memories Past.

- Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future
Thousands of years ago, before history had begun to record itself on parchment and pages, there existed a lone tribe of filthy unwashed ape creatures who strived to perfect the twisted and arcane art of THE WRITTEN LANGUAGE. In this tribe existed one who would abuse this power in years to come, none other than the nefarious Sorcery Genius LINA. When the great time-rifts of the wizard lord opened up their swirling gates, the young witch THREW herself through them and arrived... IN OUR TIME.

Buwhahahaha! You can never defeat me boy. You might as well give it up.”


Luffy pushed himself to his feet and dusted himself off. He then smirked at Wrath, who looked confused for a moment. “You know, sorry to tell you this but I’m really bad about giving up.” With that said Luffy attacked Wrath again and again. Each time Luffy swung a punch that punch just flew through Wrath but Luffy would not give up.

- Megido
Is there an echo in here? There'd better be an echo in here.

Suddenly, the black sphere above them began to spin. It began to spin faster and faster and then suddenly blue-tinged lightning began to fly out of the sphere hitting the temple walls and making them crumble. Energy was flying out of the sphere in a chaotic fashion as it began to spin out of control.

- Angry Video Game Nerd
Is this thing controlled by the fucking Power Glove or something? It just does whatever the fuck it wants!

“What is happening?” Wrath asked bewildered as he watched the sphere. “Nami what are you doing? Stop it! The power is escaping! You are not controlling it.”

- Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future
It was there she found that the world had changed greatly, and discovered forms of entertainment that most call "Anime" in disgust. She CLUNG to this deseperately as its large eyes and long scenes of standing around reminded her so much of her mother's primitive cave paintings she so longed to see again.

“I-I can’t control it! It’s too powerful! It’s going out of control!” Came the voice from within the sphere. “There’s nothing I can do to stop it.”


“WHAT?! YOU CAN’T LET THIS HAPPEN! CONTROL IT DAMN YOU! CONTROL IT!!! MY POWER MY MAGNIFICENT POWER!!!!”

- clobberpuppy
Where's the remote? Turn the volume down!

Wrath bellowed as he watched the random lightning bolts shooting out from the chaotic sphere.


The ground beneath them began to tremble.


“NAMI I DID NOT ORDER AN EARTH QUAKE! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!”

- clobberpuppy
"Sorry, mixup in the system. I'll get to work on your pepperoni and baby blood pizza right away!"

- Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future
Sorcery Genius Lina's underdevloped, chimp like mind was soon overcome with nothing but cult-like devotion to her new Anime gods, and a short time after obtaining her GED began feverishly scribing tales of horrible nightmarish worlds where everyone begins to act as if they were everything they had ever feared in mankind. She cackled with delight as her grotesque works were spread far and wide by powerful forces that cost her a mere 15.95 a month.

And that, is the true horror behind fan fiction.

“The sphere...the sphere is set on a destructive path...I think...the entire world will become engulfed in earth quakes, floods, and other natural disasters it is only a matter of time before the world becomes engulfed in chaos and is destroyed...I am sorry my love I have failed you.”

- Sturm
Awfully nice of them to program it to RUIN THE ENTIRE PLANET at the slightest slip-up.

- SCUMM Engine
ExceptionHandle(User.Trait=="Fuckup"){
destroy_planet()
}

“Noooo!!!” Wrath sunk to his knees in defeat releasing Nami in the process.


She was about to continue her way towards the sphere when Luffy grabbed her foot this time stopping her.


“Nami...you can’t go now! It’s too dangerous.”


“You must let me go Luffy...it’s not only about me now it’s about the entire world. I cannot allow this to happen. Somehow I have to find a way to stop this.” Nami looked down at Luffy.


“Alright Nami, I trust you.” Luffy said as he released her and allowed her to float back to the sphere and become engulfed by it until he could no longer see her. Then Luffy heard laughter from behind him. He turned around to see that Wrath was laughing uncontrollably. “What the hell are you laughing at? We’re all fighting for our lives here!”


“Fighting you say? So you think the girl may be able to stop the foretold destruction of the world? I think not. And the best part of this all is that this is all your fault.”


“What do you mean by that, you bastard.”


“You still haven’t figured it out yet have you. Luffy, Luffy, Luffy, you are the one who did those nasty, unspeakable things to Nami...you are the one who tortured Shanks...you are the one who conquered the Grand Line in your own way and became King of the Pirates.”

- Avatar
He was laughing about how much of a ridiculous farce this plot element is.

Luffy’s eyes widened in horror. “Just what are you saying. I don’t understand you I-” Luffy’s mind was suddenly flooded with visions but this time he recognized them for what they were - memories...of him and Nami...of him and Ace, who was getting a new tattoo, one of a drama mask...of him torturing Shanks...of countless other things he had done that he had never been aware of. Unspeakable things, dirty things, vile things. Was it all really true...could it really be true...he had done these things...but then that would mean that Wrath...


“You finally understand don’t you.”


Suddenly, Luffy found himself looking out from the eye holes of a mask. He quickly removed the mask and peered down at it in his hands in disbelief. The strange drama mask with the strange mark under the left eye resembling a scar...very much like the scar Luffy bore under his left eye.


It all made sense now...


He was Wrath.




- Spoony Spoonicus
So you're telling me Luffy has a split personality that not only wants to destroy the entire world, but managed to conquer the ENTIRE GRAND LINE as a preteen? He also somehow maintained full contact with his minions, left his crew on several occasions to wage war on an entire city, get Ace a new tattoo and capture Shanks (among other things), and returned every time with neither the Straw Hats nor the Pirate Kings knowing or suspecting a thing?

Congratulations, this is the stupidest shit I have ever read in my life. I'm not even close to kidding.

- Tyler Durden
You are not your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not Daddy's Little Girl. You are not a great writer. You are not able to maintain consistency. You are a terrible human being. And you ripped me off.

- Narrator
At least our excuse was insomnia.

But why? And how?


You don’t remember do you? The day I was born. That’s because for most of your life you have willed yourself to forget that fateful day...allow me to refresh your memory.

- Miles Edgeworth
Playing Sephiroth now, are we?

Luffy’s head felt like it would split in two as his mind was suddenly pummeled with images, images long forgotten now brought to the surface.


There he was with Shanks...the pirate he so admired...how he wanted to be like him - strong, powerful, respected...and yes even feared. He wanted that. To be a pirate. But what was a pirate? A pillager? A robber? A thief?...perhaps a murderer?

- Spoony Spoonicus
Sometimes pirates are just cool guys following their dreams while the government tries to keep them from discovering a truth they want kept hidden so badly that they'll destroy entire islands to keep it safe.

Oh wait, I just described what One Piece is supposed to be.

His naive mind could barely grasp the true concept of what a pirate really was. His mind was filled with visions of treasure, adventures, fanciful things that had little to the with the harshness of reality.

- Alys Brangwin
How do you swap "do" for "the"?

But for a boy things like dreams were very, very important and so Luffy dreamed of becoming the most feared pirate - the Pirate King.


The years went by and it was at the young age of twelve that Luffy ran away from home as a stowaway on a pirate ship. They hadn’t noticed that he was aboard until it was too late to take him back. So they accepted him as part of their crew on one condition, one very important condition.


“If you want to stay with us boy, you have to be a real pirate? You got that?” The pirate captain told him wagging a finger at him.


“A real pirate?” Luffy questioned wide-eyed in awe.


“Yea no crying for mommy when the going gets tough. You have to do what we do or else we’re throwing you overboard and since you can’t swim well you get the picture.” The man smiled, revealing gaps in his teeth.


“I want to be a real pirate.” Luffy said without a shred of doubt in his voice.


The pirates all laughed at his naivete and thought of Luffy as nothing more than amusement...


And then the day came, the day when a young boy’s dreams were shattered.

- Miles Edgeworth
The Day SorceryGeniusLina found One Piece and gave it a fatal dose of angst, terrible writing and stolen plot elements.

“Captain! There’s a ship off the starboard bow! It’s a big one she is. It must be a merchant ship! Loaded with goodies no doubt...and a many a fine lass I’m sure!”


Many of the pirates laughed at that.

- Avatar
Fine women don't exist in this universe.

Now, if you want trashy whores, we can help you there.

“Arrr, sounds good to me. We shall take that fine ship!” The Captain ordered.


“Prepare the cannons to fire. Come about!”


The pirate ship was maneuvered until it was coming right along side the merchant ship at top speed. There was no escape for the heavily laden ship, that was too slow.

- Sturm
I'd say "let the context fill in the blanks for once", but we've already seen that that's a lost cause.

When they were right along side it the Captain ordered a barrage of cannon fire.


“Cannons! Fire!” The Captain shouted.


The merchant ship’s sides were hit precisely and the ship came to a standstill.

- Megido
Uuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

“Prepare to board, you scallywags! Have the boarding hooks at the ready!” The Captain commanded.

- Avatar
Trapped in yet another cliché, this story.

In a matter of moments the pirates were all swinging over the sides of the ship and onto the merchant ship. Up until this point Luffy had been watching with a face full of awe that was until he heard the screaming after the merchant ship had been fired upon.


He had been watching as the fires had broken out on the other ship’s decks and how people were running around in a panic. Some already jumping ship. People...the people were suffering because of them.


But this was only the beginning. As soon as the pirates landed they began to kill anyone who so much as lifted a finger to resist them. Luffy wanted to shut his eyes against what he was seeing but found that he was so terrified that he couldn’t. He had no choice but to continue watching...


The pirates finished murdering most of the crew, and began to take the women captive. Their screams filled Luffy’s ears and he was reminded of his mother

- Commander Ladd
Whom we've never seen nor heard any trace of in the actual story.

...any of these women could have children just like him and now they now they...who knew what fate awaited them.


If this wasn’t bad enough it seemed that the pirates had left one man alive for one very special purpose.


“Boy the time has come for you to prove that you are one of us. In this world it is kill or be killed I want you to remember that. Now here take this.” The Pirate Captain placed a small dirk in Luffy’s hands.


He then went over to the restrained man and released his bonds. “I want you to kill this man.” The Pirate ordered.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Our author has recently watched Batman Begins.

“Wha?” Luffy squeaked out in disbelief. “You don’t mean...”


“This is a battle of life and death whoever survives well survives...I’m sure at least you understand.” The Pirate Captain addressed the unarmed man. He was an average looking sort of man, was probably a navigator by his scholarly appearance definitely not the fighter type, he had probably surrendered right away. But at those words the man’s eyes took a different sort of glint to them as they turned to Luffy.


Luffy took a step back. He couldn’t really be expected to kill the man in front of him could he? Before he could question again the captured man lunged towards Luffy, or rather for Luffy’s dirk. Soon Luffy was sent crashing into the floor of the deck the man on top of him fighting for the knife.


They struggled one against the other until the knife was coming very close to Luffy’s neck. Luffy used all his strength to move the knife away from his neck and soon it was under his eye. The knife was digging into his skin there now until he bled. The pain...it hurt. How it hurt.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Wow. Have you even read One Piece?

- Avatar
You're just now asking this?!

- Commander Ladd
It's even more inexcusable considering that the scar is explained FOUR PAGES into CHAPTER 1.

That was when Luffy realized that this man was trying to kill him.


Summoning the last of his strength Luffy used an odd tactic as he decided to head butt the man on top of him. The man was stunned and just long enough to give Luffy plenty of time to run his small dirk through the man’s unprotected neck...


Blood sprayed onto Luffy, and onto his now blood stained hands.


A twelve year old boy had killed a man.

- Avatar
You've obviously never met Spark if this comes as a surprise to you.

Is this what he had wanted? To become a pirate? What of his dream?

- The Guardian
Abandon all hope, ye who enter the realm of fan fiction.

It all seemed to be crashing around him. Luffy couldn’t handle it, couldn’t face what he had done, couldn’t carry the burden of the guilt of the crime he had committed. He didn’t want to be himself at that moment. He wished he were free, were someone else.


And that is when Wrath was born.

- Megido
So very... anticlimactic.

- Spoony Spoonicus
He envisoned Wrath - a murdering, raping psychotic asshole - as his idea of the King of the Pirates, and yet he developed a split personality to escape that very persona.

Yep, this plot's falling apart faster than a leper on a square-wheeled bike.

The only way to keep Luffy’s conscious guilt free would be for Luffy to truly be a separate entity than from the one who had just murdered a man.

So Luffy’s split personality was formed.

- Miles Edgeworth
Because it's just that easy to develop a second personality whenever you want.

Wrath would be the one to shoulder the guilt of the murder. It was he who was guilty of the crime. And it was he who would be guilty of any crimes Luffy committed in the future.


Luffy would be free from all this. In this way Luffy could remain pure, innocent, a boy...up until the age of seventeen still an innocent boy.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Kid-like he may be, but incapable of dealing with hardship he is not.

The persona Luffy had created had resulted in his personality splitting as it had.

- Megido
Must you explain out absolutely every detail about everything?

He wasn’t really naive of the world he was just unaware of what he already knew about it. He was sheltered, protected from himself, but at the same time left in the dark about the truth...the harsh truths of the reality of the world, love, hate, good, evil. Instead of understanding the gray area all had become black and white.


However, now Luffy knew.


Luffy’s eyes opened and he realized he had been lying unconscious for several minutes. The black sphere overhead was still spinning rapidly and out of control.


The guilt of all the crimes he had committed in his life washed over Luffy. He was no longer the same Luffy. He knew things now. He was different. Luffy could no longer separate himself from those harsh realities it was time for him to face the music.

- Spoony Spoonicus
I'm strangely indifferent to the last bastion of Luffy's personality being destroyed. Probably my survival instinct telling me to wrap this up and get the fuck out of here before my brain implodes.

“What have I done? What am I? I...deserve to die.” Luffy moaned before he let out a bellowing yell that echoed throughout the chamber.

- clobberpuppy
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

ooo


As Nami was drawn into the sphere she knew what she would have to do but at the same time was filled with fear. Would she succeed? Could she stop the destruction of the end of the world?

- Sturm
You want to stop the end of the world's destruction? So you want to destroy the world?

- Azul Rojo
What?! Could she WHAT?! Remember kids, PROOFREADING SAVES THE LIVES OF BRAIN CELLS.

- Spoony Spoonicus
I'd rip on this sentence too, but it's so bad it actually made me laugh. Ironic that a bit of bad grammar is funnier than all of the actual attempts at comedy in this story.

Would she unite her soul to her body in time to save herself as well? Would she ever see Luffy again?....


Once Nami had passed through the black sphere her surroundings changed suddenly and it was like she was in outer space.

- clobberpuppy
All of her bodily fluids rushed out through her eye sockets and ears and froze solid as her body's internal pressure tried in vain to adjust itself to hard vacuum.

The space around her was much larger than the sphere appeared to be on the outside, this space was unlimited,

- Doctor Who
Get out! Get the fuck out!

there were no boundaries, or beginnings or ends. Here in this dark endless space filled with silver stars and purple mist was where she would have to confront her other self.


She floated weightless through the space once again guided, her soul’s yearning to be whole once again drawing her forward. There just up ahead she saw her was - her other self. A swirling aura of silver and blue was spinning around her rapidly, out of control. Her other self seemed to be unconscious or else fighting stay conscious as the immense power of Atlantis seemed to be overwhelming her at last.


Nami felt odd saying this but she called out to her other self, “Nami!!”


This got her other self’s attention and her eyes sprung open. “You.” She started coldly. “I should have disposed of you earlier. But not matter now

- Sturm
The spirit of the mirror is apparently a cavewoman.

- Miles Edgeworth
So this mirror is thousands of years old?

- Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future
That's what I JUST TOLD YOU.

- Avatar
Nothing else in this plot makes sense. Might as well through another anachronism on the fire.

that you are out of the mirror your soul cannot survive without a body for very much longer. You are already dead. Your coming here was pointless.”


Nami glared back at her dark-garbed self, “As long as I have the will to keep on living my soul will remain in this world...and I have found my reason to keep on living. You cannot beat me. I am you...we cannot beat each other...I understand that now. And it’s all thanks to him. The man I, no, we love. Deep down you feel it too, the longing to be by his side. That’s what we both want. I don’t intend to fight you.”


“If you don’t intend to fight me then why have you come? Do you intend to stop the power of Atlantis that I have already unleashed? Even I can no longer control it, and I have the blood of Atlantis flowing within my veins. What could you a mere soul fragment hope to accomplish by coming here?” The red-painted lips frowned.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Get in your tiny car and drive out of this plot already, Sparkles.

“I don’t plan to do anything, alone anyways. Together we should have enough power to stop the power of Atlantis and then together we will go back to him.” Nami said firmly.


“Together you say?” Nami’s other half started to laugh, a cold merciless laugh. “Don’t make me laugh. You think I’ll fall for your trap?


You just want your body back and I don’t intend to give it back to you. I have been trapped in the darkness too long for that. And even though the end draws near I will live out the last moments of my life in freedom. I am free. And as for him...he would not accept me anyways. You know that as well as I do.”


“You’re wrong!” Nami blurt out startling her other half. “He does accept us. He told me himself, that he loves me for me flaws and all including the part of me which is you. He loves us.”


“Lies! Lies! Lies! Lies!” The other Nami was shaking her head back and forth in denial. “It can’t be true...not me...not me.”


Nami was much closer to her otherself now. “But it is true...he loves us both. Together we can be with him.”


“You’re lying...” Nami’s other self said in a much weaker voice.


Nami was nearly next to her other self now and she began to reach out her arms to her.


Her other self noticed this however. “No! Stay away!”

- clobberpuppy
"You're just waiting for me to let my guard down so you can turn me into pineapple Jell-o!"

- Spoony Spoonicus
This isn't Evangelion. Though I dare say Evangelion is better.

- Commander Ladd
Evangelion could at least carry a cohesive plot, even if it did suck blistered testicles.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Not to mention popularizing the sinister portrayal of Biblical themes that another two-bit hack rides to fame and fortune every few weeks.

But Nami had already begun to wrap her arms around her other self. She brought her other self to lay her head upon her breast. “Shhhh it’s over now. No more hiding. I won’t reject you any more. You are a part of me just as I am a part of you. We are one. And that’s ok because...he said so.”


“Can it really be true?” Nami’s other self breathed.


As the two sides of Nami embraced they were engulfed in a blinding light a light that overshadowed that of the out of control power of Atlantis. Dark and Light united to become one once more. And then as the light faded away all that was left was one Nami, one whole Nami.

- clobberpuppy
1% and Skim Nami just weren't cutting it.

And within her hands was a shimmering ball of light. “You are no longer a part of us, Evil Spirit. Begone to the underworld where you belong.” The ball of light, which had been the evil spirit inhabiting the mirror began to break up into several small golden lights before dispersing into nothingness.

- Spoony Spoonicus
The only real resolution anything in this story will have, sadly.

Now Nami was surrounded by the nothingness that was around her in this space. But within this nothingness there was also an ancient power there.

- Miles Edgeworth
A contradiction and bad grammar all rolled into one convenient package you couldn't give away for free.

The power that started the creation of the universe long ago, the power of mother earth, or mother nature, the power of creation as well as destruction. Nami could feel it now as it throbbed within every fiber of her being. She could feel the powers will to be unleashed not necessarily in destruction but just to be free.


When her Dark self had unleashed the power to be used to create an earthquake the power had been led down that dark path and had stayed down that path of destruction. Now all that Nami had to do was guide that power back to a path of creation. Easier said than done however. Nami struggled again the power as it tried to continue its path of destruction. But Nami was the power’s master and continued to use the strength of her will to control the power, harness it, reign it in.

- Megido
I'm really getting tired of pointing out poor grammar and repeated phrases. Just get this over with already.

Soon the swirling of silver and blue that surrounded her began to slow...the power was slowly coming under her control again. From this universal space Nami could feel the world, it’s song and now she was its conductor. She would write a new song for the earth. The seas would no longer flood, the land would no longer tremble, the skies would no longer be filled with thunder.

- Mayor Mike Haggar
Does anyone care about this needless exposition? Anyone?

Nami would set things right once more.


ooo


The Straw Hat pirates had made it to the great chamber of the Temple of Mother Nature and were surprised to see the state of things once they did. Many parts of the temple were being damaged as blue lightning bolts seemed to be coming from nowhere and everywhere

- Alys Brangwin
So which is it? Make up your mind about something at some point, please.

hitting random parts of the ceilings and walls. When the pirates looked up however they saw the cause of it all - a giant black sphere which was filled with a chaotic sea of silver and blue energies. The sphere was spinning rapidly

- Spoony Spoonicus
A descriptor she was so impressed with that she's repeated it four times now.

and though they couldn’t see inside the sphere very well for a mere second they thought they had seen the shadow or form of a woman inside.


They also took in the sight of the pillar with the random spikes gutting out from it

- Spoony Spoonicus
It's "jutting."

and there at the very top was Luffy....


Ace gasped when he realized what he was seeing.


It was a strange sight to see but it seemed like Luffy was being punched by an unseen force. Luffy was also attacking thin air but whatever punches he threw simply seemed to come right back to him. In other words Luffy was fighting himself.


“He knows...” Ace murmured as he watched his brother’s struggle. “Dammit he knows. LUFFY!!!”


Shanks looked up worriedly at Luffy and then looked around for the orange-haired navigator. “Where’s Nami?”


“She is inside the chaos...” Came a voice.


Everyone turned to see Vivi still sitting huddled on the floor with her arms wrapped around her. “She’s alone within the chaos...she is struggling to control the power...but it still won’t be enough...”


“Vivi what are you saying? What do you mean it won’t be enough?” Zoro questioned kneeling at her side and looking at her imploringly.


“The City of Atlantis will be buried within the sea once again.” Vivi declared.


Silence followed her words.


“If-if this place is really going to be flooded again shouldn’t we get the hell out of here?!” Ussop cried out.

- Spoony Spoonicus
It wasn't flooded when they came down. Where is this coming from?

“And abandon Luffy and Nami?!” Zoro sounded outraged.


“He’s right.” Shanks said suddenly. “It’s too dangerous to remain here much longer. Even if Nami manages to stop the power of Atlantis, this city will be lost once more. Everyone needs to get out of here and fast. I...will go get Luffy and Nami.”


“Im going with you.” Ace spoke up.


“No the others will need your strength.” Shanks objected. “Now go all of you. Believe in them, your Captain and your Navigator.”


“Right!!!!” The Straw Hat pirates all agreed.


The Straw Hats started to make their way out of the collapsing temple as Shanks made his way towards the stone pillar. He then grabbed on the spikes and began to pull himself upwards.

- Avatar
Pretty impressive for a guy with one arm.


Finally after several moments he had made it to the top. Luffy was still fighting himself and flying backwards and then Luffy was counterattacking the air again.


“Luffy!” Shanks cried as he lunged forward and punched Luffy across the face. “Get a hold of yourself! Luffy you need to stop beating yourself up about it. What’s in the past is in the past. So you thought that being a pirate was all fun and games and found out it wasn’t big deal.

- Miles Edgeworth
Great, even Shanks is a neanderthal now.

Not everything is black and white Luffy, there’s a lot of gray. But what you need to realize is good can’t exist without the bad. How would you appreciate things otherwise such the good deeds of others if there weren’t also bad deeds being committed in the world.”

- Miles Edgeworth
The worst part is the author probably thinks this is really deep.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Getting a lesson in "black and white" from an author whose every character and plot point is a one-dimensional cliche is pretty hilarious too.

Luffy held a hand to his stinging cheek with a stunned expression on his face. He then looked over to Shanks as if noticing him for the first time. “Shanks?...” Luffy questioned in a small voice.


“That’s right kiddo it’s me. Now instead of fighting yourself isn’t their something more important that you should be doing?” Shanks was saying.


“Something important...” Luffy struggled to think.


“Like saving the woman you love.” Shanks sighed.


“The woman I...Nami!?” Luffy said suddenly as he looked up at the sphere of chaos that had begun to slow it’s spinning. “Nami, she’s done it! The power is stopping.”


“But it won’t be enough to stop the flood that will cover Atlantis once more. Also...she has no strength left to leave the chaos space.” Shanks informed him.


“How do you know all this,” Luffy questioned suspiciously.


“That isn’t important.

- Mayor Mike Haggar
Like hell it isn't! Stop shooting more holes in the plot, it's already sinking fast!

- Spoony Spoonicus
It's already at the bottom of the sea. Sustained fire is just a waste of time and resources now.

Right now we need to figure out how to get up to that ball of chaos and get Nami out of there.” Shanks told him.


“Right,” Luffy nodded. “Maybe I can just...” Luffy began to stretch his arms up to the ball of chaos until his hands hit the barrier. “Damn it...I can’t get through unless...” Luffy closed his eyes and concentrated. Damn it you bastard lend me your strength. I know you can hear me. You know we both need her. Show me the true power of the devil’s fruit!


Suddenly Luffy’s hands began to glow with a black aura of chaotic energy and just as suddenly his hands began to pass through the chaos as if the barrier never existed. Now he only had to find her...

- Avatar
Spent the last twenty minutes trying deperately to hurt your imaginary enemy and now you're asking him for help. Wow.

- Sturm
Also, you keep saying "devil's fruit" when you've just established that Wrath's birth had nothing to do with the Devil Fruit at all.

His hands searched until he grabbed hold of something. Quickly, swinging his arms back he brought out what he had found.


“Luffy?” Nami asked in surprise as she was drawn out of the chaos and brought through the air towards Luffy.


“Yea...it’s me.” Luffy said uncertainly as he brought Nami into his arms.


“Great now we have to get the hell out of here.” Shanks was saying.


“You two go on ahead there’s something...I need to do.” Luffy informed them handing Nami over to Shanks.

- Commander Ladd
Alright, I'll bite. What could he possibly have left to do here?

“But what about you...what are you planning to do?” Nami asked, worry etched in her features.


“Don’t worry about me Nami...just get yourself out. Shanks I’m counting on you.” Luffy nodded his head.


“Right, you can count on me Luffy, don’t be long, meet up with us as soon as you can.” Shanks smiled.


Luffy didn’t answer but turned his back to them.


Shanks lifted Nami onto his back and they began to make their way down the stone pillar. Nami turned her head to look at Luffy one last time and noticed that his fists were shaking, his nails burying themselves into his skin.


What are you planning on doing? A voice questioned Luffy curiously.

- Miles Edgeworth
Yes, please, fill us in. We're dying to know.

I’m going to defeat you. Luffy responded calmly.

- Spoony Spoonicus
The guy just ruined his only chance at controlling Atlantis after you asked him to help you, and now you're right back to trying to kill him. NEITHER of your actions make any sense.

You can’t defeat me, you already know how futile it is to try. You are a part of me Luffy. We are one and the same you can’t win against me.


Oh, yes I can. I don’t plan on meeting up with them...


You can’t be saying!!! You plan to drown us both here!


That’s right.


You sick bastard!

- Sturm
Pot and the kettle.

Heh, you could be right. But at least everything will be over. I will atone for my sins with my death. I deserve to die...and you along with me. This ends now. You know as well as I do that it would be impossible for us, who have eaten of the devil’s fruit, to survive a flood.


Nami and Shanks were already making their way out of the tunnel when Nami suddenly got off of Shanks’ back.


“Nami what’s wrong?” Shanks asked worriedly.


“I’m sorry Shanks but you’ll just have to go on ahead without me.” Nami said as she turned and ran off in the opposite direction.

- Alys Brangwin
His entire reason for being here was to get you out, remember?

“Nami no!” Shanks cried as he turned to run back to her. But just as he was nearing her a large chunk of the ceiling came down blocking his way to her. “Dammit Nami don’t you know I care about you too!” Shanks yelled to the wall.


“I know that Shanks and I thank you for that. You were my savior but now I have to do some saving of my own.” Nami called behind her before breaking off into a run.


Nami ran until she was once again inside the temple’s chamber. There, she could see Luffy still at the top of the pillar. She began to run towards the pillar before she tripped over her own feet and landed face first on the ground. She didn’t have much strength left but she knew she just had to get to him. She pushed herself up off the ground and continued to make her way over to the pillar. Reaching her hand out and taking hold of a spike she began the agonizing process of making it to the top.

- Megido
You'd think she'd have at least taken it back down to ground level so Shanks could leave more easily.

Nami found her foot slipping but managed to regain her balance just in time. Her hands were becoming rubbed raw by the harsh stone spikes but Nami kept on going...


“Luffy!” Nami called just as she reached the top and she struggled to place her hands over the top to pull herself up but her strength was leaving her.


“Nami?!” Luffy exclaimed turning around and seeing her struggle. Just as she was about to let go and fall off the pillar Luffy grabbed both of her hands in his and pulled her up.


“Damn it Nami! What are you doing here?” Luffy frowned.


“I could be asking you the same thing. You weren’t planning on coming back were you.” Nami looked back at him imploringly.


Luffy turned his back to her. “Nami...there’s something you should know about me...” Before Luffy could continue he felt Nami wrapping her arms around him from behind.

- Miles Edgeworth
She knows all this already. EVERYONE knows this already.

“Shhhh it’s not important now anyways.” Nami murmured. “All that matters is that I’m here with you now Luffy. If I lost you, there’d be no point in living anyways. So I’m here with you Luffy...until the end.”


“Nami I...” Luffy was speechless with what he was hearing. Could it be possible that Nami would accept him even with all the atrocities he had committed, some even to her.


Just at the moment the walls of the temple began to crash in and water began to flood inside the temple.


“The Tsunami...” Nami murmured. “It was the only natural disaster I was unable to stop...

- Alys Brangwin
How ironic, "Princess Tsunami".

I didn’t have enough power and now because of that-”


“Shhh it’s not your fault.” Luffy said turning around to face her and placing a finger to her lips. “If it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine. I...deserve to die. Nami...when the water comes and floods this place you still have a chance of surviving since you’ll just turn into a mermaid. Once that happens I want you to leave me behind and save yourself.”


Nami suddenly bonked him on the head.

- Megido
Somehow, dear author always manages to ruin an emotional moment with a horrible choice of language or cartoonish foppery. Every time.
- Miles Edgeworth
She has a rather skewed view of... well hell, what doesn't she have a skewed view of?

“Haven’t you been listening to a word I’ve been saying I won’t leave you. Together...until the end Luffy.” She said as she stood on her tip toes and placed a soft kiss on Luffy’s lips.


The water level began to rise and rise until the temple was completely flooded only on the top of the pillar was the only place left that wasn’t under water but soon it would be as well.

- Miles Edgeworth
One trainwreck of a run-on sentence.

Luffy wrapped his arms around Nami and awaited the inevitable. Soon the water would cover him and he would become a deadweight.

- Sturm
It's not a compound word.

There would be no fighting it, he would be unable to breath and he would die. But at least he would die in the arms of the woman he loved.


The water was sloshing around their ankles now and Luffy’s tightened his embrace upon Nami. Soon now it would all be over and Wrath would die along with him just as it should be. He would make up for everything he had done in this way.


Soon the water began more powerful and in one big wave both Nami and Luffy were swallowed beneath the waves.


Nami could feel her body transforming into its mermaid form. The breath she had been holding was finally released and she gulped in oxygen that she was able to get from the water. She then turned to Luffy...


Luffy felt the water around him and felt strange. He was holding his breath and soon very soon he wouldn’t be able to hold it any longer but as he tightened his hold upon Nami he was surprised that he found he could even do so. He shouldn’t be able to move at all under the water after all.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Well, he can, just not anywhere well enough to swim or otherwise escape.

Luffy looked back at Nami preparing it to be the last glimpse he ever had over her as he released his breath...


Nami watched anxiously as Luffy finally let go of the breath he had been trying to hold...soon his lungs would fill with water and he would drown and there would be nothing she would be able to do about...

- Sturm
We've established this already. MOVE ON.

Luffy let go of his breath and then opened his mouth expecting his gulping for air to cause his mouth and lungs to be filled with water. What happened instead was the exact opposite. He breathed...he inexplicably was able to breath. He looked back at Nami in shock and she looked back at him with a similar expression on her face.


The bubbles rose between them as they breathed and they almost felt like laughing. How was this happening? Why? Nami could only thank the gods that for some reason Luffy was still alive and with her.

- The Guardian
As well you should, for he's been saved by another Deus ex Machina.

You see Luffy...there’s still hope so don’t give up please.


I don’t know why but even though I deserve to die I feel myself wanting to live to be with you Nami.


My Bellemere once told me that as long as you keep on living good things will happen to you. Luffy...together I just know that good things will happen to us so don’t give up yet, please.


Alright Nami, I won’t give up but only because I love you.


How did you figure out what love was anyways?


How can you ask that when it was you who revealed to me the greatest mystery of them all, love. You made my heart feel things I never thought possible, things a boy wouldn’t feel, but a man. I’m different than the man you fell in love with though Nami...I’m...

- Commander Ladd
This scene is so boring that we can't even come up with decent heckles.

Hell, it's not even cliché enough to mock in that regard!

- Spoony Spoonicus
On the contrary, it's TOO cliché. It's so cliché that our mockeries themselves would all be clichés.

Nami pressed her lips up against Luffy’s again and all thoughts were expelled from his mind. You dimwit, I already told you that’s not important. Just like you love me for me, I love you for you, every part of you good and the bad because...in the end that’s what it means to be human.


I guess you’re right Nami...I guess you’re right.

- Miles Edgeworth
Finally put a squelch on the excessive angst.

...Hehehe, squelch.

ooo

- Spoony Spoonicus
And so the entire Captain Wrath plot peters out without anything really being resolved at all.

But considering everything else we've read, that's not too surprising.


The Straw Hat pirates were all aboard the Going Merry drifting upon a now calm sea. Atlantis had already been swallowed up by the sea once more but the arc of the Going Merry had saved their lives.

- Spoony Spoonicus
Despite it also being six miles underwater at the time.


“Whhhaaaaa.” Ussop and Chopper moaned. “What about Luffy and Nami.”


Sanji tightening the embrace he had on Talika at those words.


Shanks’ and Ace’s expressions were serious.


And Tashigi and Zoro gave each other knowing looks - there was no way the two of them could have survived.


“Hey guys how about giving us a hand!” Came an unexpected voice.


“Nami-swaaan?!” Sanji cried out earning a slap from Talika. He coughed before saying in a much more serious tone. “Nami-san?”

- Franziska von Karma
It's about time somebody punished this foolish fool for acting so unbelivably foolish.

“Guys get off your lazy butts that’s an order!” Came another voice. It could only be...


“Luffy!!!”


Everyone was soon standing at the stern looking behind them to see both Nami and Luffy floating in the water.


“Luffy, how the hell are you floating like that?” Zoro questioned before smirking.


“Like I would be able to figure out something that complicated.” Luffy smiled.

- Commander Ladd
No "it's a mystery"? Because this is one of the few times it'd be appropriate.


“Now would you get us out of here! Ladies first.” Luffy said as his crew lowered a rope behind the Going Merry.


“How very gallant of you, Captain.” Nami winked before taking the rope and beginning to pull herself up.


“bluuurrtaaaahhhh.”

- Alpha Communicator


- Miles Edgeworth
Alpha, I'd get up and throw you out the window for that if the room weren't spinning so much.

“Huh?” Nami questioned looking back to see that Luffy was sinking back into the water.


“Luffy!” She dove back into the water and soon had brought him to the surface once more. “It seems you can only swim and breath in the water when you’re around me.”


“It’s a Mystery Miracle.” Luffy nodded sagely.

- Commander Ladd
Never mind, there it is.

“Right, well it looks like you’ll have to haul us both up.”


“I don’t like taking orders from you but today I’ll make an exception.” Zoro said as he lowered another rope and Luffy and Nami prepared to be lifted out of the water at the same time.

- Alys Brangwin
Hates Nami, loves Nami, hates Nami, loves Nami. Make a decision and stick with it already.

Soon they were back on deck with the rest of the crew.


“Wheeewwww! Who’s up for another adventure!” Luffy cried out suddenly.


“Baka!” Nami said bonking him on the head. “We all nearly died back there and yet you want to go on another adventure.”


“But Nami,” Luffy pouted, “Any time you think we’re going to die you kiss me so I can’t help myself.”

- Spoony Spoonicus
Behold, the end result of wedging a half-assed resolution to everyones' subplots into the story. There's now nothing left for the crew to do but wander around the planet in an endless cycle of murdering, angsting and fucking.

Nami blushed and everyone laughed. “Who would have thought Luffy would turn out to be a pervert.” Ace joked.


“I wonder where he gets it from,” Shanks poked Ace in the ribs knowingly.


Ace tried to look innocent, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”


“Hey look over there!” Came Chopper’s voice from the crow’s nest.


Luffy bounded over to his favorite spot on the ram’s head. “Island! Island! Isalnd!”

- clobberpuppy
He bit his tongue on the last part.


“Some things never change.” Nami smiled.


ooo


The End.

- Angry Video Game Nerd
About damn time! I'd rather fuck a sandwich bag full of hyena shit than waste another minute of my life on this garbage! I'd rather eat a handful of thumbtacks! I'd rather drink skunk piss!

- Sturm
Hey,where'd Vivi go?

- Commander Ladd
Who cares, it's over! Crack open your champagne bottles and light up your cigars!

- Miles Edgeworth
WHOOOOOOP!

- Franziska von Karma
...

- Phoenix Wright
...

- Sturm
...

- Miles Edgeworth
*Ahem* I'm glad it's over, let's get the hell out of here.

Thanks again to my loyal fans I hope you all enjoyed my fic!!!!

- Spoony Spoonicus
In a way, it was oddly satisfying.

I mean, I can now rest assured that I'll never read anything this bad again. It's all uphill from here!

- Azul Rojo
I don't know how anyone could have enjoyed that. THANK GOD IT'S OVER. EVERYONE GETS 100 SHOTS OF BRAIN BLEACH FOR THEIR TROUBLES!

- Chet
We just beat the CRAPFIC! YEAAAHH!

- Dad
Well done, boys! Now the only thing left to do is take out the trash!

- Chet
Bag up that story, Ace!

- Ace
It's out of here, Chet!

- Chet
Another job well done!

- Ace
High five!

- Chet
Yeeeeeeeah!

- Dad
TAKE OUT THE TRASH!

- Alpha Communicator
GONT-ER-MAN, VIEWTIFUL!