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<- whoa!
no users online right now.
the haul
the haulupdated whenever we damn well please.
don't know what the hell is going on? neither do we! here's an illustrated explanation.
you there, the basement-dwelling momma's boy. we want to hear from you. what do you think about our shit storm of a site? what about it sucks ass? what do you dig? we're hear to listen. we're here to care. we're also here to make fun of you publicly if you send us hate mail. but whatever you do, do it hard.
you there, the basement-dwelling momma's boy. we want to hear from you. what do you think about our shit storm of a site? what about it sucks ass? what do you dig? we're hear to listen. we're here to care. we're also here to make fun of you publicly if you send us hate mail. but whatever you do, do it hard.
it's stuck!
"NINTENDO FRIENDY-CODE LIST"
7:17:37 am, fri, apr 11th, 2008 pdt
chains worth a damn!
Dynamite Kingdom: Garages Full of Old Men
Dynamite Kingdom
The Spoony Playthrough: Phantom Brave Parts 18-20 (Dialup users need not apply).
Spoony's Phantom Brave Playthrough
The Adventurer's Field Guide, page 404: Head Not Found
The Adventurer's Field Guide
Goitersonic, Page 17
VIEWTIFUL GONTERMAN
Youtube Gangbang 11/17/2008 (MORNING OF THE ENDLESS PHONECALLS EDITION)
YouTube Gangbang
recent quick hits!
Uno (Xbox Live Arcade)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
Duke Nukem 3D (XBox Live Arcade)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
Samurai Shodown 2 (Neo Geo)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
Mega Man 9 (Wiiware)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
Galaga '90 (Turbo-Grafx 16)
Virtual Console Quick Hits
recent rawks!
"Youtube Gangbang 11/17/2008 (MORNING OF THE ENDLESS PHONECALLS EDITION)"
Azul Rojo rawked!
9:03:11 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst
"Goitersonic, Page 17"
Azul Rojo rawked!
8:59:49 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst
"Goitersonic, Page 17"
Mayor Mike Haggar rawked!
8:58:09 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst
"Gontersonic, Page 16"
Azul Rojo rawked!
8:55:12 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst
"Sonic: Jumping the Shark Five Years Early Page 15"
Marty McFly rawked!
8:55:02 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst
"Goitersonic, Page 17"
Masuud O'Flarity rawked!
8:50:41 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst
"Goitersonic, Page 17"
Sturm rawked!
8:46:32 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst
"Goitersonic, Page 17"
Spoony Spoonicus rawked!
8:44:17 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst
"Shanked: The Jailhouse Chronicles "Eps 1" Page 15"
Spoony Spoonicus rawked!
5:54:50 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst
"Youtube Gangbang 11/17/2008 (MORNING OF THE ENDLESS PHONECALLS EDITION)"
Aquas rawked!
3:29:10 am, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst
recent bombs!
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDLEY"
RedCappy bombed 5 times!
3:45:22 pm, thu, sep 25th, 2008 pdt
"Spoony's Tales from a World Full of Morons: The dexterusa Chronicles"
RedCappy bombed 5 times!
12:32:26 pm, wed, aug 27th, 2008 pdt
"Spoony's Tales from a World Full of Morons: The Gamefaqs Chronicles"
RedCappy bombed 5 times!
12:32:02 pm, wed, aug 27th, 2008 pdt
"Spoony's Tales from a World Full of Morons: The dexterusa Chronicles"
Vinic bombed 5 times!
7:29:59 pm, tue, aug 26th, 2008 pdt
"Spoony's Tales from a World Full of Morons: The Gamefaqs Chronicles"
Vinic bombed 5 times!
4:01:25 pm, tue, aug 26th, 2008 pdt
that's it, douche!
random insanity
"Things I Learned From Bad Games, Volume 1"
Spoony Spoonicus ->
<- 10:40:59 am, fri, nov 21st, 2008 pst <- update!.
"Rise to Honor ¶ You often take less damage if you don't try to block attacks. Every fight can be won simply by running a short distance up a nearby wall and then falling on your enemies as they approach you one by one. Martial arts masters lose all self control if they have a baseball bat in either hand, often swinging at air until they are caught against a wall and then promptly getting ki..."
"Things I Learned From Bad Games, Volume 1"Spoony Spoonicus ->
<- 10:40:59 am, fri, nov 21st, 2008 pst <- update!."Rise to Honor ¶ You often take less damage if you don't try to block attacks. Every fight can be won simply by running a short distance up a nearby wall and then falling on your enemies as they approach you one by one. Martial arts masters lose all self control if they have a baseball bat in either hand, often swinging at air until they are caught against a wall and then promptly getting ki..."
heckles
"Gontersonic, Page 16"
Davey-kins ->
<- 8:34:34 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst.
"Gonter: A prefix that can be assigned to just about anything, meaning "a really really awful-"."
"Gontersonic, Page 16"Davey-kins ->
<- 8:34:34 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst."Gonter: A prefix that can be assigned to just about anything, meaning "a really really awful-"."
that's the latest of the bunch.
do you want some more crap?
here you go.
do you want some more crap?
here you go.
-> "Spoony Writes About Games (11/18/08 Edition)" -> games1:45:26 pm, fri, nov 21st, 2008 pst <- update!
"I just figured that since updates lately have been pretty sparse, I'd write about what video games I've been dumping too much time in lately, and look forward to dumping too much time on in the future. Let's dig it! ¶ Bioshock (XBox) - Yeah, I'm a bit late jumping on this bandwagon, but I finally went back and finished it. Twice, in fact; once for the plot and again just to scoop up the las..."
-> "Shit Piece Chapter 19" -> heckles12:48:53 pm, thu, nov 20th, 2008 pst <- update!
"It has come to our attention that many unfortunate souls have stumbled upon this story while searching for One Piece fan fiction (or One Piece hentai). All we can say is that we apologize for assaulting your eyes with this abomination. ¶ As for those who came here searching for this specific story, all we can ask is "what the fuck is wrong with you"? ¶ The Shit Piece experience in a nuts..."
-> "Spoony's Youtube Channel Disclaimer / Blatant Site Plug" -> random insanity12:28:40 am, thu, nov 20th, 2008 pst <- update!
"Do not message me asking for game hints. I will simply trash it. ¶ I don't take requests for videos unless you're in my circle of friends. Sorry. ¶ Additionally, do not message me about any of the following. ¶ Dot Hack. Why make one good game when you can rip people off by splitting into multiple discs and sell them all seperately for full price? And honestly, a fucking RPG bas..."
-> "Spoony's Tales from a World Full of Morons: The Gamefaqs Chronicles"12:20:46 am, thu, nov 20th, 2008 pst <- update!
"A tale I would like to share with you all, sparked by a random Googling of my old screen name turning up an old fan's web site. I've decided to refrain from mentioning any names, as our site tends to rank high on Google searches. Plus, being from Gamefaqs, I fear that drawing the idiots of the erivrjrengv* here would make us all stupider by proxy. This is also the reason why I've ROT13'd their..."
-> "Galaga '90 (Turbo-Grafx 16)" -> reviews2:03:55 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst <- update!
"If you've played Galaga '88 at the arcades, you can stop reading here, since this is the exact same game. If not, here's what you can expect: Galaga with several new twists including boss characters, TRIPLE ships, and multiple "dimensions" that bring out newer and tougher enemies (but earn you more points). There's even the occasional scrolling stage in there, a la Xevious. ¶ Another great..."
-> "CHOCOLATE SNEEZE" -> reviews1:58:03 pm, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst <- update!
"MY COCK IS IN THE BITCH'S MOUTH. AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY. LOOK AT THE GRAPHICS FOR 127 HOURS OWL RAMMER"
-> "SorceryRetardLina's Neverending Dreck Exhibition, Chapter 17" -> heckles12:24:05 am, wed, nov 19th, 2008 pst <- update!
"It has come to our attention that many unfortunate souls have stumbled upon this story while searching for One Piece fan fiction (or One Piece hentai). All we can say is that we apologize for assaulting your eyes with this abomination. ¶ As for those who came here searching for this specific story, all we can ask is "what the fuck is wrong with you"? ¶ Another thanfully short chapter bui..."
-> "Nami's Darq Ladle Seckrit, Chapter 10" -> heckles11:45:30 pm, tue, nov 18th, 2008 pst <- update!
"It has come to our attention that many unfortunate souls have stumbled upon this story while searching for One Piece fan fiction (or One Piece hentai). All we can say is that we apologize for assaulting your eyes with this abomination. ¶ As for those who came here searching for this specific story, all we can ask is "what the fuck is wrong with you"? ¶ Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece...."
-> "Nami's Dark Little Secret, Chapter 6" -> heckles11:27:38 pm, tue, nov 18th, 2008 pst <- update!
"It has come to our attention that many unfortunate souls have stumbled upon this story while searching for One Piece fan fiction (or One Piece hentai). All we can say is that we apologize for assaulting your eyes with this abomination. ¶ As for those who came here searching for this specific story, all we can ask is "what the fuck is wrong with you"? ¶ Just a fair warning, this is easily..."
-> "Youtube Gangbang 11/17/2008 (MORNING OF THE ENDLESS PHONECALLS EDITION)" -> video10:04:52 am, mon, nov 17th, 2008 pst
"DEFAULT VIDEO LOADED: ¶ YES, I WILL TAKE YOUR JOB INTERVIEW. NO, THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUT OF STATE AND WOULD BE AT WORK AT THIS TIME ANYWAY, STOP CALLING."
-> "Thank Fuck It's Almost Over, Chapter 18" -> heckles5:42:35 pm, wed, nov 12th, 2008 pst <- update!
"It has come to our attention that many unfortunate souls have stumbled upon this story while searching for One Piece fan fiction (or One Piece hentai). All we can say is that we apologize for assaulting your eyes with this abomination. ¶ As for those who came here searching for this specific story, all we can ask is "what the fuck is wrong with you"? ¶ One more shorty before the fucking..."
-> "Sonic: Jumping the Shark Five Years Early Page 15" -> heckles11:02:04 am, sun, nov 9th, 2008 pst
""
-> "Sonic Doing More Stuff Nobody Cares About, Page 14" -> heckles11:01:11 am, sun, nov 9th, 2008 pst
""
-> "Youtube Gangbang 11/9/08 (LD Edition)" -> video10:00:07 am, sun, nov 9th, 2008 pst
"DEFAULT VIDEO LOADED: ¶ GLORIOUS LOW-DEFINITION VIDEO."
-> "POOP"11:34:01 pm, thu, nov 6th, 2008 pst
"Started doodling and then I wanted to stop doodling, maybe I'll finish this tomorrow!"
-> "I'M BACK A DINOSAUR STORY"7:27:21 pm, thu, nov 6th, 2008 pst
"bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbnaslkfsdfga;sogh asdohglsdhf ass ass ass ass ass ass gnb butt!!!"
-> "Phantasy Star II in a Nutshell" -> random insanity10:02:50 am, tue, nov 4th, 2008 pst <- update!
"Yeah, we're doing a good game this time! Holy shit! ¶ Rolf: Hi I'm Rolf, I work for the Motavian government, which is pretty much just a formality since everybody works for Mother Brain. Governor: Rolf, there are monsters everywhere and the weather has stopped working! Find out why this is happening, we can't go on much longer like this. Nei: I'm coming too. Oh Hi, I'm Nei. I'm apparent..."
-> "Great Bargain Bin Games" -> random insanity9:51:46 pm, mon, nov 3rd, 2008 pst <- update!
"Today's Big List of Random Games Theme: Obscure $10-or-less games that manage to kick more ass than most $60 titles. ¶ Castle Shikigami - A series of shooters set in the skies above modern Tokyo, where your protagonists fight demons resembling everything from teddy bears to butterflies with creepy doll heads to what looks like a hybrid of a tortoise, a beetle, and a tank. Not in any sort of..."
-> "SGL's Devastatingly Lewd Shit, Chapter 14" -> heckles6:55:41 pm, wed, oct 29th, 2008 pdt <- update!
"It has come to our attention that many unfortunate souls have stumbled upon this story while searching for One Piece fan fiction (or One Piece hentai). All we can say is that we apologize for assaulting your eyes with this abomination. ¶ As for those who came here searching for this specific story, all we can ask is "what the fuck is wrong with you"? ¶ You know the drill. Come drunk, an..."
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all content copyright their respective authors/artists.
no portion of any content residing on lardpirates.com may be reprinted in any form without prior written consent -- this is serious business, the internet.
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hosting provided by dreamhost. they are good people. i know, mysql is a bit slow, but whatever this ain't youtubespacebook, so get over it.
if you wish to bitch and moan at us, do so from our contact page.
all content copyright their respective authors/artists.
no portion of any content residing on lardpirates.com may be reprinted in any form without prior written consent -- this is serious business, the internet.
best viewed at a resolution at least 900 pixels wide, in any browser other than internet explorer for the love of god. try firefox! opera, even!
this website is much more badass with javascript enabled. if you cannot use javascript, then you need to hop in the delorian and get the hell out of 1995.
hosting provided by dreamhost. they are good people. i know, mysql is a bit slow, but whatever this ain't youtubespacebook, so get over it.
if you wish to bitch and moan at us, do so from our contact page.
a cherry
downpour
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